Undergraduate / Common App short answer (both sides of the stage) [4]

hey i really like this (:

it's pretty well-written throughout, but i think there are some syntax issues that could be worked on. for example, the first sentence is a bit confusing.

"Action!" The stage manager gave me my cue and I began to openopened the stage curtains to reveal the exquisite set the technical theater crew members and I had diligently worked on for six weeks to the eager audience.

in this sentence (below), also try to think of a way to rephrase without using the word "stage" twice or too close together. also i don't think you really need to say "enhance the play"...that's kind of implied. you should also try to avoid passive tense (ex:"...was greatly satisfying to me.") you can make more of an impact if you use an active verb here!

Seeing the stage transformed from dull and naked to a lavish stage that would enhance the play and awe that audience was greatly satisfying to me.

by just being concise and not adding in words you don't need, i think you can make your essay a lot better. i really like how you talk about "both sides of the stage" though! i think it's really interesting and unique. good job (:

Undergraduate / Am I Doing this Right? Additional Information Essay to Harvard College. [6]

Hi (:

i actually really liked the short story a lot myself, but i'm not sure the purpose of the "additional essay" section for harvard is to just submit something that you've already written. i think a better approach would be to maybe write about how much you like writing instead, or to talk about what writing means to you. the story itself is very humorous and unique, but i'm not sure the harvard admissions people will be impressed if you just copy and paste a short story you've already written with some disclaimers as an intro.

hope this helps! and great job with the story!

Undergraduate / Am I Doing this Right? Additional Information Essay to Harvard College. [6]

i'm pretty sure they want you to write an additional essay about yourself. while the story may show that you're a talented writer, it doesn't convey a lot of information about what kind of person you are or information about your life.

however, it is a judgment thing though...
so if you feel that this story does say a lot about you and really shows your quirky, humorous side, i'd go for it and send it in. (: