Undergraduate / Admission Essay for Texas A&M University "Essay C" - Hardships in the past [3]

*please tell me your opnions about my essay!!

Prompt:There may be personal information that you want to be considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.

October 4th of 2004 was the day that our family moved to America and I also recall that day as turning point of my life. The reason for my family's immigration was for a better education and a brighter future, which most people in South Korea refer as the American Dream. But unfortunately, our family had to face the brutal consequences of the American Dream.

Although I already have expected those hardships, the life in this new country was just too much to handle. Mainly the barrier of language was the most challenging part of my life. It was not an easy thing to speak words to others. That's right, I was afraid. I was afraid that I might not be able to communicate with them. I was afraid someone might make fun of me. Most importantly, my courage wasn't large enough to let myself go through those struggles.

There were a lot of times that I just wanted to give up and go back to the place where I didn't need to go through those struggles. But as time moved on, I began to realize the most important thing that I was forgetting about. It was my parents, who sacrificed their own life for me, and gave me an opportunity to have success. I was guilty of myelf, for brgging about those hardships that my parents also had to go through.

Now I appreciate those hardships in the past. They are great teacher who taught me the value of family and importance of my success. My goal is to become an anesthesiologist, and I know that I can pursue that goal. For my parents, who always supported and guided me, I will and I must become a student with enthusiasm and courage that will allow me to achieve the American Dream.

Undergraduate / TAMU Admission Essay B - important issue in my life [3]

I want to know whether its good essay or not ! tell me your opinions about my essay~!

prompt- choose an issue of importance to you-- the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation

When I picture a future president in my mind, I see a gentleman with generous smile on his face. If I asked anyone to think of future president, would anyone picture a female president in their mind? I have no doubts that anyone will, because all of the formal presidents were males. I refer these biased opinions as the modern segregation, the segregation derived from human's biased mind.

The modern segregation is a paradox of human society. Even though we claim that everyone deserve freedom, we discriminate someone or some group that ought to be different with our perceptions. Also, whether it's the matter of race, age or gender, the modern segregation create certain limits upon those people who have the potential to go beyond the traditions.

During the 17th presidential election of South Korea, one candidate stood out among all the presidential candidates. Her name was Guen-Hye Park, an influential female politician who seemed to have great potential to become world's first female president. Even though many Koreans were supportive towards her, there were lots of opponents towards specially those who hated her as a female candidate. Apparently, there were countless revelations about her past and even some attempts of assassination, which were intended to exclude her from the election. Although those antis of Guen-Hye Park were seeking for a president who will provide them a better country with more opportunities and freedom, they didn't provide Guen-Hye freedom to pursue her dream to become a world's first female president but rather offended her based on their own beliefs.

So why does the modern segregation significant to me? It's the motivation force of my life. All of those invisible limitations that our society has created motivate me to work much harder and motivate me to become that person who can overcome other's perceptions. Thus, with my enthusiasms towards academic performance, I want to be the the one who can be a role model for future generation