Undergraduate / "Living in Pakistan" - Why Emory supplement essay [8]

So far you are off to a good start and have some good recommendations. If you goal at Emory is covered elsewhere I would think it must be covered here.

If you can find some examples of successful essays it would help you understand what they like to see in one.

If I were making selections I am more interested in seeing what you want to do with the program, project, job or university than why you fit in them. How do you think the program will hep meet your goals.

Personally I would use a more active voice. this may not be the way they want it. Find out if you can. I would write it as why I want to attend Emory not as a term paper. I have changed some of it into the kind of thing I like to see in an essay or letter as to why someone would want to apply to Emory. Tried to use the ideas you used and put it in a positive fist person form to give you and idea of what I mean.

My grammar is not very good and my word usage is dated and probably not what people in your area of interest use. I intended to write this as example and not something that can used in an essay. You have 250 words, using almost all of them its part of the test to see how well you can express yourself in limited space. Active voice uses less space the passive voice. Don't be tempted fill it with adjectives that don't add to the meaning. What I wrote is too long for what it says. It is an example of what I like to see.

Living in Pakistan I see some of the worst life has to offer:
...

Like all of us my life experience molds who I am. Today living in Pakistan offers me a plethora experiences both good and bad. The dark parts put some dents in my spirit [but/yet/and], so far every adversity that comes my way makes me a better citizen wanting to contribute more. Every time my neighbor, country man, my country or I am in peril I am more [determined/driven/encouraged/inspired] to [{find ways}/{bring change}{...}] to make all our lives better helping myself, my neighbor, my country and the world to be a better place. The beauty of my country and its generous people reinforce my determination to help them by doing ?????? even more.

When researching universities I found Emory to be an active member of its community. As I looked deeper into Emory's Volunteer Emory Program finding it received the 2008 the Presidential Award for General Community Service I became more convinced Emory is the best place for me to continue my studies in ???????????????? and work in community service. [If not covered elsewhere include your goal as well.}

Good Luck
Gordon

Graduate / Letter to a prof. for phd admission - wheat genomic conference [4]

As it sounds as if your present job is coming to a natural close. If you feel like you can without causing problems where you work now I would ask the professor that recommended that you get a PhD in the USA if you could list him as a reference and if he would help you with this letter or recommend someone that can. He knows the professor you are writing to and knows you. He can be more help than any letter ever can be. A good letter of introduction, a phone call or better yet a personal introduction by him to the professor you want to do your PhD with can do more good for you than almost anything else I know of.

I would also read everything the professor you are applying to has written at least in the last 10 years and at least look over the rest of his writings including his PhD thesis if could get it. Get to know this man's present and past work really well. It will help.

Most of us in agriculture are tolerant of writing style as many of use don't write all that well ourselves. I expect a wheat breeder is far more interested in what you have done than in how you say it. But your never get a second chance to make a first impression. So get some help from someone in your field that is a good writer and make a great fist impression. Good writers that don't understand what you do can't help with the fine points of language of wheat and agriculture. I am sure you work with someone that can.

As an Oklahoma wheat farmer for the last 50 years and working agricultural research the last part of that we need more people working with wheat in every way. The tools you have today make wish I was young again. I would have gone into breeding if my computer hadn't been a black mechanical beast that took a minute and half to do a division and there was some way to understand genetics than observing the statistics shown in the offspring.

Good luck
Gordon

Essays / Limit is 1500 but I have 1604; Is it bad to exceed your personal statement word limit by 100 words? [4]

The word limit is part of the essay. It shows how well you can express yourself in a limited space. If you miss the limit miss it on the low side not the high side.

If you aren't writing in your native language it is more difficult to write inside limits. Get help from someone you know and trust in your field if you can. The vocabulary and word usage at the graduate level are different for every field.

Most give non native speakers more latitude but it is best to get it right.

Good Luck
Gordon