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Posts by Atessa
Joined: Jan 25, 2010
Last Post: Jan 26, 2010
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From: Canada

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Atessa   
Jan 26, 2010
Scholarship / Travel to Europe - A significant opportunityand the impact it had on you [4]

During last year's spring break I had the opportunity to travel to Europe. For me this was like a dream come true; because, I had never gone outside of the country in my life or had traveled in an airplane before. And, thanks to my parents who had made this dream possible for me. The trip was part of a school field trip which was meant to involve traveling with the schoolteachers.

If I were you I would start my second paragraph with my last sentence of first paragraph. Every paragraph should contain one main idea and two or three supporting sentences; it makes your paragraphs look more coherent and organized.
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