narrow1234
Jan 26, 2010
Writing Feedback / Air Pollution in Hong Kong - ( 500-word essay ) [2]
I am a student from Hong Kong.
Here is the instruction for my 500-word essay:
"Air Quality in Hong Kong is getting worse, especially in district such as Central, Causeway Bay and MongKok.
Although various measures have been implemented to reduce vehicle emissions ,the even taller new buildings in Hong Kong and increase pollution from neighboring Guangdong province have aggravated the situation
Write a letter to the young post discussing the problem of air pollution in hong kong and suggest 3 ways to improve the air quality."
I am looking forward to improving my English so feel free to comment on my writing.
Here is my writing
Dear Editor,
Air pollution has long been a big issue in Hong Kong. The government did endeavour to modify the air quality but, sadly, it still deteriorates continually. Even worse, the Air Pollution Index recently hit a record high, which suggests that the air quality in Hong Kong is far lower than the international standard. It all shows that air pollution is just a growing problem and I would really like to take this opportunity to discuss the problem and to express my own thoughts about it.
Let's begin with the cause of the problems, which includes three main aspects.
The first aspect concerns the vehicle emissions. With the increasing number of private cars these years and the slow introduction of environmentally-friendly fuels, the amount of air pollutants released by vehicles keeps increasing, thereby tarnishing the air quality.
Secondly, the unplanned use of land can also account for the problems. Due to the limited land supplied, Hong Kong tends to be densely populated while the buildings are usually designed to be as tall as possible. All the buildings therefore form a physical barrier to block the ventilation of air. Consequently, pollutants like suspended particles are trapped in air, causing the air to be polluted.
Cross-border pollution is the third aspect. There are currently numerous factories built in Mainland in Guangdong Province. The industrial air pollutants can be carried to Hong Kong by winds. Especially in winter, when much pollution is brought by the northern monsoon, the air quality is exceptionally terrible.
To tackle the problem, we should focus on the causes and design solutions accordingly.
To deal with the first cause, which is related to traffic, the amount of vehicle emissions should be controlled properly. Actually, this has been implemented before, for example, the installation of catalytic converters and introduction of unleaded fuels. However, the even worse air quality nowadays has proved these traditional means is not enough. In addition to these, the government should pay more efforts in controlling the number of private cars on the road. Raising the registration fee of the newly purchased vehicles and levying heavier tax on vehicle ownership are really effective measures to minimize the number of private vehicles, thereby reducing emission of pollutants. Introduction of electronic cars or hybrid cars also reduce the release of air pollutants by vehicles. Apart from just introducing these cars, the government should also subsidies the installation of corresponding stations for power supplement so as to attract more vehicle owners to switch their options. Then, the vehicles emission will definitely be lowered gradually.
Secondly, to achieve a better land use planning, new measures and laws should be set up for the developers and architects to refer to. For example, in order that the new buildings are surrounded with good ventilation, density and height of buildings should be reasonably limited and be stated in black and white as laws. Besides, in order to keep the air fresh with low suspended particles content, a certain percentage should be set as the proportion of green areas in the urban. Good road planning and design can also be achieved with clear regulations and rules. And, without strict enforcement, all the aforementioned laws are just meaningless. This explains why keen and frequent inspection and execution by the government is always needed to match with an ideal city planning.
Finally, cross-border pollution should be solved by cross-border cooperation. Hong Kong government really needs to negotiate with the Guangdong government to reach some agreements on how the air quality in Hong Kong can be improved. Setting up monitoring systems, restricting the number of factories in Guangdong and controlling the industrial emission of pollutants can all be included in the agreements. Remember that we are actually living under the same atmosphere with people of different nations. Air pollution is not only the matter of our own city, but a worldwide problem. It explains the significance of cooperation amongst different regions.
I hope that all the readers have developed an idea on the seriousness of the air pollution problem in Hong Kong. The intolerably terrible air is just what we inhale every day. We cannot avert ourselves from the polluted air. I believe if the problems continue to be worsened, air pollution could be disastrous and tragic. Therefore, from now, we should be more aware of it and contribute a little everyday to improve the air quality.
Yours faithfully,
Victor Chan
I am a student from Hong Kong.
Here is the instruction for my 500-word essay:
"Air Quality in Hong Kong is getting worse, especially in district such as Central, Causeway Bay and MongKok.
Although various measures have been implemented to reduce vehicle emissions ,the even taller new buildings in Hong Kong and increase pollution from neighboring Guangdong province have aggravated the situation
Write a letter to the young post discussing the problem of air pollution in hong kong and suggest 3 ways to improve the air quality."
I am looking forward to improving my English so feel free to comment on my writing.
Here is my writing
Dear Editor,
Air pollution has long been a big issue in Hong Kong. The government did endeavour to modify the air quality but, sadly, it still deteriorates continually. Even worse, the Air Pollution Index recently hit a record high, which suggests that the air quality in Hong Kong is far lower than the international standard. It all shows that air pollution is just a growing problem and I would really like to take this opportunity to discuss the problem and to express my own thoughts about it.
Let's begin with the cause of the problems, which includes three main aspects.
The first aspect concerns the vehicle emissions. With the increasing number of private cars these years and the slow introduction of environmentally-friendly fuels, the amount of air pollutants released by vehicles keeps increasing, thereby tarnishing the air quality.
Secondly, the unplanned use of land can also account for the problems. Due to the limited land supplied, Hong Kong tends to be densely populated while the buildings are usually designed to be as tall as possible. All the buildings therefore form a physical barrier to block the ventilation of air. Consequently, pollutants like suspended particles are trapped in air, causing the air to be polluted.
Cross-border pollution is the third aspect. There are currently numerous factories built in Mainland in Guangdong Province. The industrial air pollutants can be carried to Hong Kong by winds. Especially in winter, when much pollution is brought by the northern monsoon, the air quality is exceptionally terrible.
To tackle the problem, we should focus on the causes and design solutions accordingly.
To deal with the first cause, which is related to traffic, the amount of vehicle emissions should be controlled properly. Actually, this has been implemented before, for example, the installation of catalytic converters and introduction of unleaded fuels. However, the even worse air quality nowadays has proved these traditional means is not enough. In addition to these, the government should pay more efforts in controlling the number of private cars on the road. Raising the registration fee of the newly purchased vehicles and levying heavier tax on vehicle ownership are really effective measures to minimize the number of private vehicles, thereby reducing emission of pollutants. Introduction of electronic cars or hybrid cars also reduce the release of air pollutants by vehicles. Apart from just introducing these cars, the government should also subsidies the installation of corresponding stations for power supplement so as to attract more vehicle owners to switch their options. Then, the vehicles emission will definitely be lowered gradually.
Secondly, to achieve a better land use planning, new measures and laws should be set up for the developers and architects to refer to. For example, in order that the new buildings are surrounded with good ventilation, density and height of buildings should be reasonably limited and be stated in black and white as laws. Besides, in order to keep the air fresh with low suspended particles content, a certain percentage should be set as the proportion of green areas in the urban. Good road planning and design can also be achieved with clear regulations and rules. And, without strict enforcement, all the aforementioned laws are just meaningless. This explains why keen and frequent inspection and execution by the government is always needed to match with an ideal city planning.
Finally, cross-border pollution should be solved by cross-border cooperation. Hong Kong government really needs to negotiate with the Guangdong government to reach some agreements on how the air quality in Hong Kong can be improved. Setting up monitoring systems, restricting the number of factories in Guangdong and controlling the industrial emission of pollutants can all be included in the agreements. Remember that we are actually living under the same atmosphere with people of different nations. Air pollution is not only the matter of our own city, but a worldwide problem. It explains the significance of cooperation amongst different regions.
I hope that all the readers have developed an idea on the seriousness of the air pollution problem in Hong Kong. The intolerably terrible air is just what we inhale every day. We cannot avert ourselves from the polluted air. I believe if the problems continue to be worsened, air pollution could be disastrous and tragic. Therefore, from now, we should be more aware of it and contribute a little everyday to improve the air quality.
Yours faithfully,
Victor Chan