Writing Feedback / First Impressions from Lasting Impressions (tattoos and piercings essay) [3]

Tattoos and piercings have been around for many years they are even found in the bible as a marking of the slaves. Today tattoos and piercings are a symbol of who a person is and what they love. ( I feel the eg. is not in line with the preceeeding sentence. May be a detailed note that why lip piercing which was chosen by me for _____ has to be done away with because of prejudiced opinion of my prospective employer. ) For example I applied for a job at subway with a lip piercing and they told me you have the job as long as you take your lip ring out. In the south religion and morals of people have made it harder for a person to be looked at just as themselves not the tattoo or piercing.

Undergraduate / Experiances give valuable lessons-agree or disagree [9]

Nice represntation of facts and overall a coherent passage

But personally i believe the eg. for difficult experiences may include the adversities one face in life and how these adversities may lead some to break records.

Abraham Lincoln narration fits that way. Life of Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa could be told in bit more detail.