Posts by peter007

peter007

Feb 24, 2010

Writing Feedback / TOEFL topic: wheter or not to build a school in your hometown [6]

Hello everyone,
I am going to take an Toefl test, but have no idea what leve my writing would be. Would you please help me to check it out if there is any problem. It maybe not that native I think, so I need your help, so please...criticisms are required...(including the introduction, ha)

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I come from a small village where education is a dream to most of the child. Actually, I was once been envied by my neighbor peer who is helping his father doing farm work now and not merely think about changing. Without education, it can't be true for me to take Toefl test and preparing for going abroad. So, as long as the sun rises in the east, I will surly be in agreement to the new hope school's establishment in my hometown. Some disadvantages of the school there may be; However, I believe there are far more advantages.

First of all, some ...

peter007

Feb 24, 2010

Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay (compare work of artists and scientists) [3]

Hello there,
I come from china and go for Toefl, too.

I'm afraid there are too many spelling errors in your essay, and one easy way to check it is via MCROSOFT WORD. All you need is copy the whole essay into it and automatically it will give you useful advices.

In addition:
P1: ... art enhances the beauty of our country by masterpieces such as...
I think it's excellent to use the word "vehicle".
...it could be a space to which our minds can escape...

P2: I haven't see the meaning of using "as well as". I mean if this is P3 and P3 is P2, it would be better, I think. What's more you need more words like" though\although\even though" link the paragraphs together.

P3: You've developed well in P3. (I'm a fan of Leonardo da Vinci, maybe I will have a chance to visit Italy and I'll surely go and see his masterpieces. ha)

P4: I think it's kind of careless to give an ending like that. I mean, it isn't related to the topic and the main sentence isn't making sense to me. But after stare at it for a looooong time I figure out that I don't know where it is wrong. ... (Ha-ha^-^)

I am new here and want make friends. Could you please give me some advice and corrections in my essay, too? THANK YOU~

peter007

Feb 26, 2010

Writing Feedback / TOEFL topic: wheter or not to build a school in your hometown [6]

Well Blackbird, the embarrassing thing is I 've used MS word already. MS word just make sure I not make spelling and grammar mistakes, but I suspect myself whether my presentation is native enough.

Thank you, Kevin , I really appreciate the help!