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Posts by mbiscoe25
Joined: Mar 3, 2010
Last Post: Apr 29, 2010
Threads: 3
Posts: 8  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 11
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mbiscoe25   
Mar 4, 2010
Writing Feedback / Tony Hoagland's "Romantic Moment" -- personal response essay [4]

I have not taken an English class since 1996. I defiantly feel a bit rusty. Below is a personal response essay to Tony Hoagland's "Romantic Moment" If anyone could look it over and provide any feedback and grammar correction I would be very grateful!

Tony Hoagland does an excellent job of conveying how warmth and laughter can relieve the tension of human interaction. I enjoyed how he describes an intelligent couple on their second date experiencing romantic tension until they share a comedic moment. I also feel Hoagland is passively describing the hierarchy within the couple's relationship.

The mood of the poem is set by the description of the setting. The setting creates an overall imagery of warmth by using such terms as, "the mock orange is fragrant in the summer light" and "smooth adobe walls glow fleshlike in the dark." As a reader I can almost smell the flower, see the light and feel the warmth. At the same time, romantic tension is created by the mention that the couple is only on their second date and are sitting, holding hands but not looking at each other. I have been on that date many times, the date where I spend half the time playing with my straw because I am too nervous to talk. The explanation of the couple viewing a documentary and walking though an art district to me symbolizes they have an intellectual connection has well as romantic. I feel this way because my typical date is dinner and a movie. I would be shocked to have someone watch a documentary or take a walk with me.

The male character in the poem is thinking about how he should break the silence. I found it hysterical he was making comparisons to himself of how the males and females of different species interact. I belly laughed when Hoagland states "if I were a peacock I'd flex my gluteal muscles to erect and spread the quill of my cinemax tail." The female character then speaks about the exact same topic the male character is thinking. The fact the female character states exactly what the male character is thinking also supports my theory that the couple has a more intellectual connection than most. The people I am most connected to can finish my sentences. I wonder if the documentary the couple viewed was on mating rituals in nature. I feel Hoagland used the comedic comparison of how in nature romantic tension doesn't exist breaks the tension through laughter perfectly.

I get the slight impression the female character is the more aggressive of the two. She is the first to break the couple's silence. The couple leaves the scene on her suggestion. She also suggests what activity the couple should do next. Which was a bit of a surprise to me, I certainly was expecting the male to simply ask if she was ready to leave. Additionally, in all of the nature references the female of the species' act is largely more aggressive than the males. Hoagland again does a wonderful job of softly implying the symbolism.

This poem is an account of something we can all relate to. We have all been in a new romance on a warm evening. We have all experienced the feeling of tension about what to do and not knowing what to say. We have all had that moment where comedy breaks the tension and commutation begins. Additionally, we all struggle to find where we fit into our relationships. Hoagland found a fresh and entertaining way to describe these common situations and feelings.
mbiscoe25   
Mar 31, 2010
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay: Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. [4]

Your thesis seems to be unclear. Pick three or more main points and write a paragraph about each. I would also take out some of the leading words like "besides, in addition and eventually".
mbiscoe25   
Apr 9, 2010
Book Reports / "A Jurry of Her Peers" and "Hills Like White Elephants", compare/contrast essay [5]

"Hills like White Elephants" and A Jury of Her Peers" Compare/Contrast Essay

Can someone please look of this and let me know what you think?

The short stories "Hills like White Elephants" and A Jury of Her Peers" share the subjects death and how men and women relate to each other during the respective situations. The characters in both stories are all different types of people but they are connected by how they relate to their: choices; the potential consequences and the uncertainty of both. Both stories also share the use of strong symbolism to convey the setting and create mood.

The stories have strong dialog regarding how unimportant the male characters perceive the women to be. In "Hills like White Elephants" the American merely sees Jig has an object of enjoyment, he can only see how their lifestyle would change if they became parents. It's apparent he does not care about Jig's feelings when he describes the operation as "It's just to let the air in" (40). In "A Jury of Her Peers" the male characters are too busy looking for clues they deem important to even notice what has really taken place in the Wright home. The male characters dismiss Mrs. Hale's and Mrs. Peter's concern for the state of the Wright's kitchen as "trifles" (75). The men do not see how unfinished tasks and broken preserves are abnormal and should be looked into further.

In both stories the women are uncertain of their choices. Jig cleary does not want to have an abortion but does not want to loose the love of her man. This is shown when she describes the hills (the baby) as a white elephant (something special) but later states "I don't care about me" (65). Mrs. Peter's although sympathetic to Mrs. Wright does not fully connect with her until the women discover the strangled Canary. Mrs. Peter's then feels how awful the loss of the Canary must have been for Mrs. Wright when she remembers the "stillness" (255) she suffered after the loss of her own child. The connection is even more evident when Mrs. Peters allows Mrs. Hale to hide the evidence of the strangled Canary. Both stories are also opened ended, making everything even more uncertain. The reader does not discover what choice the couple makes or what is to become of Mrs. Wright.

The use of symbolism in both stories really injects the reader into the settings. In "Hills like White Elephants" the train satiation and landscape symbolize many things. The train station and its two opposing tracks can be viewed has the two choices the couple must face. The landscape on one side is green, lush and fertile symbolizing the baby, pregnancy and family. While the landscape on the other side is dry and desolate symbolizing the abortion and loneliness. Hemmingway makes me feel like I am sitting in that hot train station sweating about which way to go or which choice to make. In "A Jury of her Peers" the Wright's home is described as "down in a hollow surrounded by lonesome poplar trees" (5). I immediately felt that the Wright's had been separated from society. I was saddened when I read that Mrs. Wrights Canary had been strangled. The Canary was Mrs. Wright. The Canary represents young Mrs. Wright full of life and song and in its death an old Mrs. Wright silent and shut away.

Both writers were able to me make feel the emotion of their stories. I felt the loss and loneliness each woman was suffering. How terrible must it have been for all of them to not have the love and support of their men? It must have been dreadful to be making such large decisions while they were being treated as if they did not matter. I can't relate to being treated as if I did not matter but these stories make me understand the loss and uncertainty each of these women are facing.
mbiscoe25   
Apr 27, 2010
Poetry / "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day" Pardoy [5]

I have to parody a poem we studied in class. I tried to keep the same rhyming scheme. Please let me know what you think!

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?": Shall I compare thee to a shoe?

Shall I compare thee to a shoe?
Thou art more restful and more essential:
Indigo waters do stain thee blue,
And the maker's mark all too influential.
Sometimes too valuable for the base,
And often is shape for function faulted;
And pair for pair finds no mace
By chance of nature's sidewalk vaulted;
But thy eternal obsession shall not wave
Nor lose possession of that pair thou ow'st,
Nor shall the closet hold thou in his grave
When in fashion thou will grow'st.
So long as women can breathe or walk,
So long live covetness in their talk.
mbiscoe25   
Apr 29, 2010
Poetry / "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day" Pardoy [5]

HAHAHA I'm so glad it made people laugh!

The orignal is ow'st and grow'st so I just left it the same. The ending is about how women want what someone else has, in this case shoes LOL

Thank you for your help!
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