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Posts by Porkissimo
Joined: Apr 12, 2010
Last Post: Apr 14, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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Porkissimo   
Apr 12, 2010
Poetry / My Five Senses Poem about Compassion: Any ideas/suggestions? :/ [4]

Greetings.

For school, our teacher gave us an assignment to write a five senses poem on a feeling.
Mine is compassion. Here is my poem:

Compassion is the color of a warm sunset
It sounds like the mourning cry or a loved one's death
It tastes like the __________
It smells like _________
It looks like an orange sky above the horizon
And it makes me feel kindhearted

I don't think I have enough vivid details to really express what compassion really is in five senses.
For the blanks, I can't think of any ideas in which compassion tastes and smells like. Feel free to fill in the blanks and make any suggestions/ideas/comments about my poem. I would gladly appreciate the help, thanks. ^_^
Porkissimo   
Apr 12, 2010
Poetry / My Five Senses Poem about Compassion: Any ideas/suggestions? :/ [4]

Thx for your suggestions. It helped quite a bit. Here is what I came out with:

Compassion is the color of a warm sunset
It sounds like the mourning cry for a loved one's death
It tastes like wildflower honey
It smells like morning dew
It looks like an orange sky above the horizon
And it makes me feel kindhearted
Porkissimo   
Apr 14, 2010
Poetry / Five sense poem about an emotion [7]

Try using some metaphors. Ex: It smells like the earth after a rain, clean and alive. Hope this helps. =)
Porkissimo   
Apr 14, 2010
Poetry / Five sense poem about an emotion [7]

Hi, I'd like to help.
** Jealousy makes you feel like you are being torn apart slowly.
Jealousy is the color of a wrecking ball hitting you in the face, blinding you

Anyways, I thought the ideas were good, but I don't think "a wrecking ball hitting you in the face," describes the color of jealousy. Also, instead of wrecking, I'd suggest using "destructive" or anything like that.

Here are my suggestions on your poem:

Jealousy
Jealousy is the dark green color of envy
It smells like stale fog filling my lungs
Jealousy is the taste of a rotten/poisoned? apple
Jealousy is the earsplitting sound of fragile glass smashing/hitting the floor(this would most likely go under annoyance/anger)- I don't know about this one.

Jealousy is the look of deceiving/mischievous eyes that only want more and more
It feels like you are getting torn apart slowly(most likely go under sorrow/misfortune/heartbreak)/feels like a virus eating away?

I hope I have helped you! Good luck! ^_^
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