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Posts by TeaCake
Joined: Apr 13, 2010
Last Post: Apr 15, 2010
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From: United States of America

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TeaCake   
Apr 13, 2010
Writing Feedback / "to create original movie advertisements" - Personal essay [4]

I have to write an essay. There are no limits or restrictions besides using "you" or anything of that sort. I would preferr 5 paragraphs. I have the Intro and two of the three boddy paragraphs. Please help me in revising and adding detail whereever needed. Also please help me with the last two paragraphs. Please respond soon. Thank you.

Everybody has that one dream, of being famous or even infamous, that they hope to achieve within their lifetime. I know that it is very important for everyone to accomplish their own goals, and to create their lives according to how they want them. To make my dream a reality it is imperative that I know that it is something I am passionate about, and it is a goal that I can achieve. Another important quality in reaching my goal is to plan out significant steps required in completing it. I have a dream to attend college, major in promotions and create original movie advertisements.

I am very passionate about media arts, and I am interested in the editing aspect. I know that it is important to receive support in whatever I decide to do with my life. I do not fall short in this category, and I continue to obtain amazing amounts of support from family and friends. My dream had started out as an infatuation with photography, and it had then adapted to this love for editing film. I feel that I have made this change because I enjoy creating something completely different than what I started out with. Creating promotions for movies has been my dream for quite some time and I continue to love it.

I know that this dream of mine is achievable and will be achieved within my life time. Attending college will be the hardest part of my goal to accomplish. I have one parent and a sister only 10 months younger than myself. And believe me when I say we don't have a money tree growing in our back yard. At least, that is what I am told. I may have to attend Amarillo College for my first two years before transferring, but in all honesty Amarillo is not my ideal "home town." The college that is idyllic for my dream job is either The Chicago Art Institute or The Pittsburg Art Institute. I would prefer Chicago because it is known as the advertising capital.

Reaching my goal will not be easily done. I have planned to raise my grades, and do more research on my chosen career. I have learned from prior knowledge that most colleges do not offer enough of an advertising program, and that some out of school programs may be necessary. I am not the most outgoing individual, and that is imperative to the advertising career. My plans include taking more speech orientated classes in order to improve this lack of a quality. I believe that these steps will help me in reaching my goals, and assist me in many other aspects of my life.

My goals and dreams are as important as the next persons. They should not be doubted or judged based on my academic ability. In the words of Carter from A Christmas Carol; "Anything is possible if you just believe." I believe that anyone's goals are achievable. We see these miracles of great accomplishments happen with in everyday life. I have a plan for my life, and I am going to accomplish my dreams. I will reach for the stars, the impossible, and come back victorious. I know this because I am ambitious and determined. I am determined to attend college, major in promotions/advertising and to create amazing movie promotions.

I apperciate all help! no matter how small.
Thank you
-Jessica
TeaCake   
Apr 13, 2010
Writing Feedback / "to create original movie advertisements" - Personal essay [4]

Revised paragraph 2

I am very passionate about media arts, and I am interested in the editing aspect. I know that it is important to receive support in whatever I decide to do with my life. I do not fall short in this category, and I continue to obtain amazing amounts of support from family and friends. My dream had started out as an infatuation with photography, and it had then adapted to this love for editing film. I feel that I have made this change because I enjoy creating something completely different than what I started out with. Creating promotions for movies have been my dream for quite some time and I continue to love it.
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