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Posts by biggirl150
Joined: Apr 29, 2008
Last Post: May 7, 2008
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From: American Samoa

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biggirl150   
May 4, 2008
Essays / Whole-to-whole or Part-to-part structure - "Two people you know"; comparison and contrast Paragraph [8]

Comparison and Contrast Paragraph

I have a assignment and due on Tuesday. Topic choice " Two people you know", my assignment requests the paragraph must have either a Whole-to-Whole or Part-to-Part structure, and it must feature at least 3 criteria.And this is my paragraph,I chose Part-to -Part. Plz helps me to edit my writing, and plz give me some ideas for my conclusion because my grammar is dangerous. Thanks for your help.

My aunt and my uncle are both good people, but I prefer my uncle than (Change this to "rather" my aunt because he is easier, happier, and more generous. First, my aunt is not an easy person; she is always cold with everyone in her family. She is a person who talks while she works, and when she works, she expects everyone around her to work along with her. On the other hand, my uncle is easier than my aunt; he would never do that with anyone in his family. He is always quiet when he cleans up or does something, even while he is cleaning house, but other people are watching TV; he also works with a smile on his face. For example, yesterday, my aunt got off from work earlier than she did last time and went home first, and then she cooked dinner. While she was cooking, her husband came home and sat on the sofa. My aunt saw that and got angry. My aunt did not feel happy and asked why my uncle did not help her cook, but instead just sat and watched TV. She complained a lot, but my uncle kept quiet and came to help her. Second, my aunt is not a happy woman. She does not want to go out; she just wants go to work seven days a week. Moreover, she never wants anyone to come to her house, or even to have a party because she is very clean. Thus, if people come over to her house, she is not happy and always worries about cleaning the house all over again. On the contrary, my uncle is a very happy person. He invites his friends to come to his house and to have party on the weekends. For instance, last week, my uncle had a reunion party for students who studied with him during high school, so they wanted to organize it at his house because his house is very big. However, my aunt didn't want it there. She thought if they organized in her house, she has (Change to "would have") had to clean up and it will make her tired when the party is finished. Therefore, she refused and they decided to hold the party at a restaurant. Finally, my aunt is not as generous as my uncle. When she gives something to someone's; (Remove both the apostrophe and semi colon here.) she wants to know about what is going on and more detail before she gives it to them. In contrast, my uncle is different. He wants to give to someone something and just does it without caring about anything. For example, last week, her son sister's wedding was in Vietnam. After the wedding, her sister borrowed money from her friend; my uncle knew that and gave her money to pay back for her friend, but my aunt told him, "Give your money to me let me send it to her." In order for her to send it, she has (Change to "would have") to know how much money she owes her friend; this shows how nosy she (We've got a lot of "she"s in this statement; let's change this one to "my aunt".) is. In conclusion everyone has his or her own characteristics. My both uncle and aunt are good and they treat people according to their ways. However, I prefer my uncle more because it can make other people happy and easy to live with people around me.
biggirl150   
May 7, 2008
Essays / Whole-to-whole or Part-to-part structure - "Two people you know"; comparison and contrast Paragraph [8]

my criteria three is generous. Finally, my aunt is not as generous as my uncle. When my aunt gives something to someone. she wants to know about what is going on and more detail before she gives it to them. In contrast, my uncle is different. He wants to give to someone something and just does it without caring about anything. For example, last week, her son sister's wedding was in Vietnam. After the wedding, her sister borrowed money from her friend; my uncle knew that and gave her money to pay back for her friend, but my aunt told him, "Give your money to me let me send it to her." In order for her to send it, she would have to know how much money she owes her friend; this shows how nosy she is.

Pls help me to find out it. thank you very much.
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