Writing Feedback / The issue of knives in general and at school - an opinion/letter to the editor [5]

A few tips:
-Avoid overusing pronouns; you're writing a letter so it's okay to use them here as opposed to an essay, but don't overdo it

-More statistics; your first paragraph should include more specific statistics about the problem; also, avoid using statistics that contradict your thesis statement in the first paragraph, perhaps introduce them later

-Don't start off with "Hello everyone!"; it's a far too informal start for an otherwise serious letter
-Avoid use of words like "idiot" and "stupid"; I understand that you want to sound angry, but these words actually distract the reader from the problem at hand; try instead to control your anger throughout your writing, it's more sophisticated and people will take you and what you're saying more seriously