Writing Feedback / First Essay - D-Day Canadian Contributions [NEW]

Ok my first post. This forum is great - helpful people doing good things. Ok I wrote this essay for my Grade 10 Canadian History class and I need someone to check it over (particularly the 2nd last paragraph). Remember it is Grade 10 : ) My teacher looked at the essay outline so content wise it is probably fine. I just need some help reworking some of the akward sentences, grammar, and making the quotes fit in properly. So thanks in advance for your help.

Edit : Also it is supposed to be a persuasive essay.

D-Day - Canada's Contributions

The Normandy Invasion, the "Day of Days" of World War II, played a huge part in the Allied exploits in occupied Europe. On June 6th the Canadian forces, alongside the British and American forces, were part of the greatest invasion in history. 130, 000 Allied soldiers and the largest naval fleet in history gathered to work towards a common goal, the defeat of German defences on the Normandy beaches. The soldiers prepared to storm the Normandy Beaches and gain a foothold in occupied Europe required to recapture France from German control and eventually try to win the war from the Western front. It seemed like suicide but Allied soldiers fought valiantly and brought down the German defences, entering Germany into a 3 front war and a likely loss. At the D-Day Landings, Canada was the first to achieve the objectives that it was assigned to after landing at its assigned beach, Juno Beach. Canada was the only one besides British and American forces to receive its own beach to invade, code-named Juno Beach, a huge responsibility in itself. Allied forces depended on the successful invasion of Juno Beach to carry on fighting in occupied Europe and establish a secure and safe beachhead for troops and supplies to land. Canada had played an essential and strong contribution to the D-Day Landings, as it was in charge of invading Juno Beach, and did it successfully.

Canada achieved its objectives for the D-Day Landings and had massive success compared to other Allied divisions with a force of 14, 000 soldiers taking in the fact of the huge amount of fortifications at Juno Beach, it was a huge accomplishment. After only 3 hours of the initial landings, the Atlantic Wall at Juno Beach had been shattered allowing forces to push past the beach and sea wall to launch attacks into occupied Europe. By the day's end the Canadian forces had achieved an enormous task, much more than what had been expected of them. The 3rd Canadian Division had pushed farther into France than any other Allied Division - 8 kilometres inland (Landry 48). The next day also held promise for the Canadian forces, which had managed to link up with British forces that had landed at Sword Beach. This was important to be able to secure a beachhead in Normandy allowing for further forces to land and push inward into occupied Europe (Roy 13). By July 9th, Caen had been captured by the Allied forces, with huge contributions from the Canadian forces that had fought against the Schutzstaffeln, one of Hitler's elite units. Caen, an important strategic location had been captured, "thanks in large part to the persistent efforts of the 3rd Canadian Division, Caen was at last in Allied hands (Veterans Affairs Canada). The capture of Caen dealt a crucial blow to the German defences in France, allowing the Allies to put firm foothold in occupied Europe from which they could launch attacks to take back France. Canada achieved its objectives at the D-Day Landings and the important objectives afterwards.

Canada had the monumental responsibility of invading a heavily fortified position, code-named Juno Beach, a huge responsibility that no other country besides the United States of America and Great Britain had. Canada was put to the responsibility of invading Juno Beach with 14, 00 soldiers, and 450 dropping behind enemy lines. 10, 000 sailors Royal Canadian Navy and its ships were among the invading naval forces, while Lancaster bombers and Spitfire fighters from the Royal Canadian Air Force joined the attack from the air (CBC). Taking Juno Beach was not an easy task but through hard work and dedication the Canadian invaders managed to overthrow the German defences and hand the German forces a stunning defeat. "Juno Beach was arguably the most heavily-fortified of the five invasion beaches" (Canada at War). The so called impenetrable Atlantic Wall had been penetrated and the Allies could now start landing additional troops and supplies. At night's end on June 6th the Canadian 3rd Division had fought the resistance from the determined German counter-attack and had achieved many of their objectives. Although the town of Caen was still not captured, this objective was overly optimistic (Roy 39) but the Allied forces with great contributions from the Canadian forces managed to capture this objective too. "Resistance was stiffening as they came closer to Caen but by nightfall the leading elements were over eight km inland" (Roy 26). Some of the soldiers had even reached Caen - Bayeux road - the 1st Hussars (Roy 26), a very close distance to the town of Caen. This meant that Canadian forces were the closest to the town of Caen, an important objective in the Normandy Landings. The Canadian forces had achieved the great task of invading from Juno Beach and had managed to push far inland.

The Canadian forces not only had to storm ashore from Juno Beach successfully but they also had to achieve many other objectives in occupied Europe. The Allies had made plans according to the successful Canadian assault and the successful fulfillment of the objectives afterwards. This meant that Canadian forces played a large role in the battle to come after D-Day and the Allied success also depended on the success of Canadian forces. After the invasion, Canada was given the task of liberating the Netherlands from German control (WarMuseum). After the initial attempt at break into the Netherlands had failed, the job was handed to Canadian forces, probably in respect to their successes at the D-Day Landings and afterwards. The Canadian forces met heavy resistance and determined German defenders but they managed to liberate the Netherlands. After the D-Day Landings, British and Canadian forces linked up to secure the beachhead and launch further offensives into France (Veterans Affairs Canada). Beach bombardment at the start of D-Day also included contributions from the Royal Canadian Air Force. Canadian bombers squadrons were composed of Lancaster bombers and Spitfire fighters and they weakened German industry and attacked strategic locations to decrease the resistance encountered by the invading soldiers (Reynoldson 38). The Allied forces depended on the success of all parts of the D-Day Landings and the Canadian forces did not fail to impress even if it came at a high cost.

Canada made massive contributions to the D-Day Landings and achieved many of their objectives, sooner than other Allied divisions. They instilled pride in the nation and had shown the power of Canada, as a great military power and as an ally. The 3rd Canadian Division had moved the farthest into France by nightfall and Canadian forces were the first to achieve their objectives after landing at their assigned beach. Canada was the only nation besides the United States of America and Great Britain that received its own beach to invade and had broken through the German defences at Juno Beach successfully. Allied forces also depended on the success of all parts of the invasion and Canadian forces did not let them down, achieving their objectives with great success. Canadian forces had created great pride for the nation with the tremendous success of the D-Day landings and had shown the world that Canada had the power to become a great military power in the future.

Works Cited

"The Battle of Caen." At War Canada.

"Carpiquet and Caen." Veterans Affairs Canada.

Landry, Pierre. Juno Beach - Canada in WWII. Canada: Penguin Group, 2003

"Operations : The Liberation of the Netherlands." War Museum.

Reynoldson, Fiona. Key Battles of World War II. Chicago: Heinemann Library, 2001.

Rowland, Robin. "D-Day : Canada's Role." Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

Roy, Reg. D-Day : The Canadians and the Normandy Landings June 1944. Ottawa: CEF Books, 2001.

Thanks for reading. : )
-Shardul

Writing Feedback / A Separate Peace Essay during World War II in 1943 [6]

Alright, so here is my Canadian Grade 11 Separate Peace essay in which we had to write about whatever thesis we chose. Can you please help me find stupid grammar, spelling, awkward/run on sentences and quotes? Also please tell me if some ideas/arguments seem weak. Thank you for the help.

Shardul Upadhyay
M. Zgavc
ENG 3U1
January 8th, 2009

World War II in "A Separate Peace"

"A Separate Peace" takes place during World War II in 1943, a time of great uncertainty and changing lifestyles but the danger of this war never really seems to come near Devon. So does this terrible environment and events affect the characters of a Separate Peace or just provide a safe and surreal environment for the characters? The war in a Separate Peace may not directly affect the characters for the majority of the novel but we see its affects on the characters actions indirectly and it ends up greatly affecting the final outcome of the novel. The war also changes the characteristics and attitudes of certain characters of the novel, causing them to adapt and change to create a sort of defense against the impending threat of enlistment in the war. World War II also seems to affect the characters' interactions with others and seems to change the relationships that the characters share with each other. World War II definitely is a major factor in the characters' actions, interactions, and characteristics in the novel and is a major aspect of the novel.

World War II is a major factor in the character's actions in the novel with the distant war affecting the characters' choices and decisions. We can see the effect of the war on the characters' actions when the boys have to do work to replace the workers that have gone off to the war. It is seen when Gene says "Brinker Hadley could compose his Shortest War Poem Ever Written if he wanted to, but all of us had to take stronger action than that" (92). This is referring to how Brinker believes that the war is boring but the students have to do work and chores because of the lack of workers due to the war. The war's affect on the characters is also seen with Leper who enlists in the army. Indeed, Leper tells the boys at the gathering "I am going to enlist in these ski troops" (127), after hearing a speech from an army officer. This is something that is unexpected since Leper would never want to part with the nature and peacefulness at Devon, yet the war manages to prompt this action from Leper. The effect of the war on the characters' actions is also seen when Phineas invents his theory about the war being fake but this is due to the fact that he can not enlist in the war and he wants to hide his disappointment seen in the line "I'll hate it everywhere if I am not in this war! Why do you think I kept saying there wasn't any war all winter?" (190). This basically shows that the entire story that Phineas invents is to distance himself from the disappointment of not being accepted for recruitment in the war. The effect of the war on the characters' actions is seen throughout the novel with many more examples and this is a main reason that the war plays such a huge role in the actions of the characters in the novel.

World War II also has a noticeable effect on the characteristics of certain characters in the story and this is a major force in driving the story to its eventual end. A great example of the war's affect on the characteristics of a character is seen with Leper who is a shy, timid, and peace loving boy before his voluntary enlistment in the war. After the war, we see that Leper is very aggressive in his treatment of others and even the nature that he loves could not calm him down after his experience in the war. This new found "aggression" of Leper's is seen in the mock court where he refuses to give the name of the person who shook the branch saying "You always did take me for a fool, didn't you? But I'm no fool anymore."(176). Here we see that Leper actually stands up for himself, something that he would never have done before his experience in the war. The war also affects Brinker as he decides to adopt a deep hatred towards the war to defend himself from the terror that is war. This is seen in the second last paragraph with Gene's comment "or else, like Brinker, develop a careless resentment towards it" (204) which refers to Brinker's dislike of the war. The war also prompts the main characters of the story to develop a sort of defense in their characteristics to deal with the war seen with the closing remark by older Gene in the last chapter. Older Gene notes "All of them, all except Phineas, constructed at infinite cost to themselves these Maginot Lines against this enemy they thought they saw across the frontier" (204). This refers to the characters' attitudes towards the hardship of war and their "enemies" and how the war affected their mentality and changed them. It can indeed be seen that the war has an effect, not only on the characters' actions, but their characteristics and attitudes and this aspect of the affect of war plays a major role in the book.

While World War II may seem to play a major role in the characters' actions and attitudes, it also plays a major role in how characters in the novel interact with other characters in the novel. This effect of the war can be quiet clearly seen with Phineas who, disappointed at not being accepted into any army, decides to adopt a view in which he does not accept that the war exists when talking to anybody else. Indeed we see this when he is in the infirmary and tells Gene "Why do you think I kept saying there wasn't any war all winter? I was going to keep saying it until two seconds after I got a letter from Ottawa or Chungking or some place saying 'Yes, you can enlist with us' "(190). This shows that Phineas is pretending that there exists no war because of his disappointment in the rejection of his application. The change in interaction with others due to the war is also seen with Leper who is more hostile towards others after his experience in the army where before he was much more quiet and friendly. The change in attitudes towards others due to the war is also seen with Brinker who begins to resent his dad for his ideas towards war. This resentment is seen where Gene says "He did know his father, however, and so they were not getting along well now." (201). This is in reference to Brinker's complaint that his father's generation had caused the war and their generation had to fight it and we see that this war is a major reason for why Brinker resents his father. As it can be seen, the war is a definite factor in the way that the characters in the novel interact with each other and the war affects these interactions and relationships in adverse ways.

In a Separate Peace, we see that the war has a very adverse effect on the characters of the novel as well as affecting the plot and the events that take place in the novel. The war plays a crucial role in affecting the characters' actions and decisions in the novel, often leading characters to take unexpected decisions outside of their quality traits. As well as affecting the character's decisions, the war also affects the characters' personalities and characteristics, changing them in ways unexpected in the novel. The war also affects how the characters' interact with other people in the novel, how they respond to certain events in the novel, and how the relationships change among certain characters in the novel. In a Separate Peace, the war is a major driving force behind the characters' actions and responses to events that occur, and this also shows that it can be seen as a major theme in the novel.

Works Cited
Knowles, John. A Separate Peace. Scribner: New York, 2003.