Undergraduate / "getting an "A" no matter what" Evaluate a significant experience, achievement [6]

Thank you guys for your meticulous editing. I will try to revise this draft the best I can, but not very soon. It is because I will be out of town for about a couple days. I will probably re-post my final draft when I get home.

I Appreciate Your Time in Reading my Essay!
Thank You!

Graduate / Quick Fix: Opening Paragraph, School of Medicine interest [13]

1st sentence
I burst out laughing? I Bursted out laughing?

Overall good essay, however, maybe create more sentence rather than one long sentence.

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay: Student behavior, causes and solutions. [5]

Maybe you should also write more about the causes?
You forgot to mention parental abuse

Undergraduate / "getting an "A" no matter what" Evaluate a significant experience, achievement [6]

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical...

Hi this is a secondary rough draft for an essay I have to write for the summer. Apparently, it was one of the UC College Common Application essays. My teacher wants me to tell a story and basically tell what I learned from it. *Note*Please bear with me for I am not very good at writing and I am not that confident in my writing skills.

Thank You and Enjoy!

1. Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
As we grew, teachers taught us new things and gave us new assignments, but never where they were graded. If you did well you got that gold star, sticking out among the dullness of the assignment. As the days went on, we learned of grades, an "A" was the best, preceded by a "B", then the average "C", then the "D" and the "F". Being mature, we are not treated like children and are expected to perform well in school. If we did not perform to our parents' best expectations, and they knew we were honest and tried our best it was acceptable. But in my case, with the many "A's" I had gotten in the past, I soon learned that honestly trying my best was better than doing anything for that "A".

The scene was present; I was a freshman at the time, in Math class. The tests were insanely difficult at the time for me and even though I studied, I would still get a "C" or lower. However, I did not take that grade for granted and took the only route out of the grade lower than an "A," and that was by cheating. I heard of a way to somewhat "change my grades" and this was accomplished by "trading papers with a neighbor and correcting each others exams." A majority of the class would also sometimes do this, but the class would just lie to the teacher and take advantage of his steadfastness in our trust. As we graded, my partner and I would manipulate each others grades to each others favor for a couple of tests. But this time, the teacher did a random "spot check" and the whole class was compromised.

After realizing what we had done, the teacher gave us a lecture, not a lecture for just this present error the whole class and I made, but a lecture made for the rest of our lives. I spoke to him personally and apologized about this whole incident that occurred. I told my teacher that I was pressured by my parents to get straight A's and he responded with this, "If your parents knew your situation, it would not matter to them whether you got an A or not. It only matters to them that you work your butt off and always try your best." I learned a valuable lesson from this experience. This situation has given me restraint, control of my evil inhibitions to lie and cheat as wrongfully as I did. I soon found out that being perfect wasn't all that mattered, it was all about trying my best.