brina93
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "teaching learning, research, or public service activities" - event, UF Essay Help [4]
Good thesis! Besides minor grammatical errors, I'd say this is a well written UF essay. Try breaking it into parts though. Like paragraphs. I.E.-paragraph 1: I had to perform on snare infront of everyone. Paragraph 2: We moved and I had to go to a new school. Paragraph 3: decision and outcome. Paragraph 4: Reason why it was a good decision. Paragrpah 5:closing the story
keep it up and go Gators! (by the way, i'm in band as well. Head Drum Major for Lakeland Senior High! lakeland florida)
if you could read my essay I'd greatly appreciate it!
-Sabrina
Good thesis! Besides minor grammatical errors, I'd say this is a well written UF essay. Try breaking it into parts though. Like paragraphs. I.E.-paragraph 1: I had to perform on snare infront of everyone. Paragraph 2: We moved and I had to go to a new school. Paragraph 3: decision and outcome. Paragraph 4: Reason why it was a good decision. Paragrpah 5:closing the story
keep it up and go Gators! (by the way, i'm in band as well. Head Drum Major for Lakeland Senior High! lakeland florida)
if you could read my essay I'd greatly appreciate it!
-Sabrina
