Undergraduate / "it is about ski" - the commonapp 150words short answer [4]

it is about ski, but I think the ending should be improved and some unneceessary part should be deleted. Maybe the beginning should be revised too. anyway, just please give me some comments, thanks a lot!

A perfect parabola swept over the snow-white world and that meteor was me.
I started skiing when I was in primary school. I can still remember the first time I wore the ski boot--the tight feeling around my shins increased the tension deep inside my heart. And the nervousness get even worse as I standing on the top of the small hill since I am a little acrophobic. I stood still Looking down at the height under my feet until my classmate playfully pushed me down. Wind whipped through my coat and tore at my face. I wanted to stop, but the board attached to my feet just go down faster and faster. I arrived at the foot of the hill, surprisingly, without a tumble. It's amazing! Skiing seems to be intimidating at first, but the excitement after landing at the foot keeps me do it again and again.

Undergraduate / "Leaving Hong Kong to study elsewhere" - commapp experience [3]

I think the ending of paragraph 2 should be improved but i don't know how. and the content should be more but i don't know where to add. please help me, thanks.

The leaden sky was slightly lit by the upcoming sunrise. Gazing at the reddish horizon, I sat on the balcony of my hotel room and was deeply lost in thought trying to figure out the rather illusive world appeared in front of me.

It was six in the morning, and I was about to leave from Hong Kong, where I took my SAT exam the day before. Looking back to the past year, I still felt that all I had experienced was a little bit untrue: I prepared for SAT in my spare time and traveled by air for nearly 5 hours to a completely strange city, all by myself. My parents labeled me as rebellious for not attending a domestic university like other Chinese students. However, I thought all I had done was to prove myself to them. With all my efforts to pursue my dream to study abroad, I gradually realized that I existed apart from my mother, father, teachers, and that I was an independent person. I should have my own thoughts, make my own decisions, and even be responsible for myself. Therefore, I would like to choose my own way, believe my choice, and move forward to my dream unswervingly.

The first ray of light has broken the darkness. It's time to leave. I know that when the journey began, unknown was the destiny. But there is a will there is a way. I have struggled for endless days and I would not stop until that glorious day.