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Posts by cbeangirl
Joined: Nov 8, 2010
Last Post: Nov 8, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Trinidad and Tobago

Displayed posts: 3
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cbeangirl   
Nov 8, 2010
Undergraduate / "Being a Mother." - world you come from (family, community, school) [7]

"This role is truly the one that has stimulated my interests to grow toward the medical careers in which I can practice a thorough motherly role."

this sentence does not flow.. maybe you could say : This is why I have become very interested in pursuing a medical career through which I can act as a "mother" to people who need my help, just as I did for my siblings. ( or something similar to this...just a suggestion)

and the beginning of the second paragraph maybe you can change it to "when my sister and I "
cbeangirl   
Nov 8, 2010
Undergraduate / The international student association, Rice: what will you contribute? (culture) [3]

I have not completed this essay but I would just like to know if I am answering the prompt correctly. I am not a very strong writer so any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Prompt:The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice?

Growing up I have always taken for granted the great number of national holidays in my country, there was a different holiday almost every week. Only as I grew older did I realize the significance of each holiday, in which a different part of my heritage was celebrated.

A major asset to Rice would be my diversity. Living in the Caribbean country of Trinidad and Tobago all of my life has exposed me to, and gave me a great appreciation for, a vast number of different cultures. I will bring these cultures with me to this university, and so , I will add cultural diversity and cultural awareness to the school community.

Trinidad and Tobago is the land of diversity, we celebrate festivals ranging from Divali to Carnival, Phagwa, Jouvert and many others. Whether it is jumping up in the sun to calypso music in costumes made of beads and feathers, or lighting deyas on bamboo in the night, each celebration has its own history and significant meaning. The different ethnic groups that make up our people each bring their own contribution to our culture and create a rich mixture of dance, music, art, cuisine and festivals. In Trinidad numerous cultures live in harmony, each with their own dress, food, music, religions, norms and even language. With each festival in Trinidad and Tobago it is tradition that a certain type of food is eaten. With Divali comes curry, with Christmas comes pastels and sorrel and many different foods are associated with other festivals.

Living in this type of multi-cultural society has molded me into a very receptive and open person to many different cultures as there is nowhere in the world where so many different religions and cultures are accepted. I can also bring to the campus my Caribbean flavor, and I would like to introduce and establish a Caribbean club, through which people can learn about cultures, festivals, food and many other things unique to the Caribbean like the Steelpan and Carnival . I am very comfortable with interacting with people of many different races and backgrounds and I believe that by coming from this type of background I can contribute to the international student association in a positive way.
cbeangirl   
Nov 8, 2010
Undergraduate / "management consultant, to start my own business" ISB: Short term and long term goals [2]

I see myself to have operational knowledge

you should put "I see myself having operational knowledge"

My short term goal also comprise

Try : my short term goal comprises of the understanding of the basics..

Post MBA, working as a management consultant,

After earning my MbA I hope to work as a management consultant through which I would get exposure to..

business mags

You shouldn't abbreviate ..say business magazines

Many times this has infused in me the idea to start my own business venture.

After extensive reading I have become inspired to start my own..

These are just suggestions, after all I am only a student like you are. I like the last paragraph I think it is straight and to the point.
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