discogiraffe
Nov 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "Datch; all my twin and I need is one word" - influential person [5]
I will try to put into words how much I loved your essay! It is very well written and there is a huge variation in sentence structure, making it a joy to read. You have managed to show glimpses of your various achievements while retaining your personaility throughout. Your vocabulary is appropriate and illustrates succintly what you want to bring across to your readers. I also found your introduction paragraph grabbing and I liked the way you ended it with just a touch of wry humour.
Other than a few errors such as:
-and an "I've-got-your-back-no-matter-what" attitude-
-We have taken the same amount of steps, travelled to the same places, and inhaled the same quantity of breaths-
It is now 4.50 am at my side and I'm slaving over my application essays as my deadlines loom dangerously close (i'm an international student D;), and yet I could not help but comment on your essay. It is very well done. :D
I will try to put into words how much I loved your essay! It is very well written and there is a huge variation in sentence structure, making it a joy to read. You have managed to show glimpses of your various achievements while retaining your personaility throughout. Your vocabulary is appropriate and illustrates succintly what you want to bring across to your readers. I also found your introduction paragraph grabbing and I liked the way you ended it with just a touch of wry humour.
Other than a few errors such as:
-and an "I've-got-your-back-no-matter-what" attitude-
-We have taken the same amount of steps, travelled to the same places, and inhaled the same quantity of breaths-
It is now 4.50 am at my side and I'm slaving over my application essays as my deadlines loom dangerously close (i'm an international student D;), and yet I could not help but comment on your essay. It is very well done. :D
