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Posts by zqueenb
Joined: Dec 1, 2010
Last Post: Dec 4, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  

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zqueenb   
Dec 1, 2010
Scholarship / GMU scholarship: challenging experience-sickel cell & how I've grown [3]

The University Scholars Program, or scholarships at Mason, you must submit an additional essay. In approximately 750 words, describe an experience that you found particularly challenging including what you learned about your strengths, weaknesses, and goals as a result. If you had to relive the experience, what would you have done differently? You must submit your essay with this application in the space provided.

i think I'm sharing too much information, i dont really want it to be a sob story but I cant think of anything esle to wrote about. any advice will be very much appreciated.

I was diagnosed with sickle cell anemia at the age of two, I did not have a full understanding of the disease however, until I was eleven. Sickle cell disease is an inherited blood disorder that affects red blood cells. This causes red blood cells to become sickle-shaped (crescent shaped) thus making it difficult to pass through small blood vessels and causing severe pain. My experience with sickle cell anemia, has transformed me into a different person.

The most significant crisis I remember happened in 2007, when I was fourteen. I was in the hospital for about month and missed a total of two months of school. It began as a simple painless plan: I would go to Children's National Medical Center, get my gallbladder removed and be back in school the following week. After the operation I was put on antibiotics and sent home. However, neither the doctors nor I knew I was allergic to amoxicillin, the antibiotic I was prescribed. After the second day of taking the drug, my left leg began to hurt and swell up. My aunt rushed me back to the hospital. After being there all night, the physician on-call told me I had a blood clot. I was in the hospital another two weeks and I went home on crutches.

Subsequently, I had not done any school work in over a month; I lost interest in school and almost gave up. During these times, my faith, and the love of my family and a few close friends sustained me. My hospital stays were not ones that could easily be understood by my peers. Yet, after a while, my grades were dropping even more. At that point, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and began working harder to recover my grades. I worked so hard to get back on track and eventually my grades improved greatly even as to surpass what they were before my hospitalization.

My hospital stays quickly taught me how to apply myself and work with my teachers to successfully complete work during my absence. My challenge taught me a very valuable skill of coming from behind, focusing, and getting things done. It was around the same time that I discovered computers. I developed a love for computers and technology; I spent hours on the computer teaching myself how to type quickly, learning HTML code and even creating a blog.

In order to reach my goals I must improve on my weaknesses. Ever since my crisis I've been a bit of a perfectionist. I take a great deal of pride in my performance and am committed to producing the highest-quality of work I can. Additionally, I like to take on projects that are considered challenging. I'm always challenging myself to do things better than the last time; I practically compete with myself.

Undergoing sickle cell has created new opportunities for me in the area of information technology and has helped me develop the discipline necessary for achievement in high school and success in a challenging academic college environment. During my recovery, I spent so much time on the computer making me realize that I want to work with computers in the future. I am currently enrolled in a Cisco Networking Academy at my high school which has taught me about networking for home, business and ISP; I've even set up a router and designed computer networks. I would like to combine my love for technology with the study of business to eventually become a CEO of a technology company like Google. In addition, I would like to be an example to young African women by helping them understand there are no barriers that hard work, faith, and passion cannot overcome. If I had the chance to relive that experience I would be more determined to complete my work early. I wouldn't have procrastinated in getting my work completed. Thus, if I had the option to be free of sickle cell disease, of course I would choose not live with it. The question is if I would be the same hard working and outgoing person I am today.
zqueenb   
Dec 1, 2010
Undergraduate / "My 8 year old brother's existence" - someone who has made an impact on your life [2]

You [me? ]should never underestimate the impact you make on another person's life.

this sentence is a bit wordy. maybe break it down or remove some words.
Of all the people that have come and gone in my lifetime there is one person who has motivated me and actually changed my perspective on life and how I should view every obstacle I have to endure.

Life lessons from a person who isn'twas not even tall enough to ride a rollercoaster yet , my little brother. My 8 eight year old brother's existence has changed my life in so many positive ways because I have someone to inspire, someone to be a role model for.[uh? this is confusing]

Growing up I was the oldest of 3three [ spell out numbers] kids of a single mother who also happened to have her hands full, owning a restaurant.

is the name of your school called magnet high school? if not it should no be capitalized.
Good essay overall just needs to flow better.
zqueenb   
Dec 1, 2010
Undergraduate / Girl Scouts and Completing - FAMU ESSAY activity, interest [3]

keep i mind most of these are just suggestions, some are grammar.

I must say the one in particular that's most meaningful to me is being in Girl Scouts and c ompleting my silver award.

This happens to beis the most meaningful achievement because I helped out a less fortunate school, I may have even helped out a child who wanted to expand their reading skills, and it prepared me to continue my gold award - The highest award you can complete in Girl Scouts- this year.

Anyone could've given a few books to a school, but it takes dedication and someone who truly cares to help the children better their education to collect books for months, pack them up and personally take them over to the school yourself. It was meaningful because I feel as ifthat every school should have equal learning opportunities .

I would want some someone to do the same if I attended a less fortunate school.

What about their students that are interested in or enjoy reading?

Some students actually do take the time out to read, expanding their reading skills .
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