Undergraduate / "I attribute most of my success to my family" - common app - significant experience [3]

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

"A word spoken by chance might have strange consequences" -Edward Field
Even though I didn't know what would happen, I took a chance to save my mother's life. I have learned through the ensuing hardship that speaking out can have drastic and irreversible consequences. In fact, words themselves have consequences. Words can hurt and words can heal. They can encourage, discourage, inspire, teach, support and so on. Recently, I have discovered how powerful my own words are and how they began a course of events that changed the world for my family.

"Mom, he hurt me!" I cried as I ran into my house holding my arm. Those were the words I spoke three years ago that got my abusive father out of our home. While my father's abuse had been escalating for some time it had always been directed at my mother, never at us kids. My mom always justified it or made little of it, or felt responsible for it. I knew she was not capable of stopping it. I also knew that she would not be that "understanding" if one of us kids got hurt. My siblings and I were afraid. As my parents fighting increased, the violence increased, and the tension in our house increased. None of us really knew what to do. Our family had not always been this way. For many years we were your average, normal, happy family. But something had changed and I was afraid something bad was going to happen. Then my dad did hurt me, sort of. He threw a can of soda at me. It was at this moment I decided that I had to do something. I used my words. I told my mom that dad hurt me even though it didn't really hurt that much. I knew if she thought dad was hurting me she would do something. These words were enough to convince my mom that staying with my father was not safe for any of us. Eventually police were called and protective orders issued. My father refused to have anything to do with us. We ended up losing our home and moving. These words, as I feel no words can, do not capture what a tumultuous time this was and the huge amount of unhappiness that filled us all.

As a result, I attribute most of my success to my family; not because of the attention or love that they gave me, but because of the strength that they've instilled in me. Because of them I know I can get through even the most harsh of situations and live to tell about it. My family taught me that out of every bad thing comes something good and all you need to do is look for it. Even though my family has given me a lot of pain, I'm still thankful to have had them because they are the reason I have the strength that I have today.

I've learned that when you're put through the worst, things that may seem impossible to others no longer seem as daunting and overwhelming.

I would really appreciate feedback and help from anyone

Undergraduate / "respected businesswoman in any field" - Georgetown MCDONOUGH SCHOOL OF BUSINESS [2]

Briefly describe the factors that have influenced your interest in studying business.

I come from a long line of physicians, scientists, and theologians. But for me, making a difference, or doing something good for our world means studying business.

Business is dynamic - constantly changing, rearranging, and stimulating the minds, passions, and creativity of the rest of the world. Innovation, technology, and exchange of information are what create progress and the evolution of society. I want to be part of this process.

After observing people around me succeed in business since I was young, I have created my own vision of success. Watching and helping my mother and her friend attempt to start an online business selling jewelry resulted in my realization of my own vision of success; a smoothly running business with me as the head of it all. With my mother's business attempt, she employed my help in getting the word out, or marketing. I enjoyed spending long hours thinking of creative ways to do this; who would be the target consumers for her product and what would be the best method of reaching and appealing to them. This was during my junior year when I was taking AP Language and learning about the appeals to ethos, pathos, and logos. I figured an appeal to pathos would work the best on my target audience of teenagers. So, I created a Facebook page for my mother's business with pictures of people wearing her jewelry, looking blissful and like they had the perfect life. I then shared it with all of my Facebook friends to spread the word. While this was a short-lived success, it taught me a lot about business and marketing and led me to believe business was the only path for me to take in life.

With my abundant social skills and excellence in mathematics along with my drive for success, I feel I can realize my dream of becoming a strong, powerful, respected businesswoman in any field of business I choose to study. I'm sure that business is the avenue that will allow me to make my mark on our world.