Undergraduate / "experienced poverty and hardship" - Nursing Entrance Personal Statement [6]

Hi everyone. I am to write a personal statement of my skills, strength and interest for a nursing entrance and need some help with regards to grammar and sentence structures. Thank you for all the help:

Nursing Application - Assistance With Grammar

I am suppose to write a personal statement about the skills, strengths and interests that will make me a good candidate for the nursing program. Need help with grammar for the following. Thank you very much:

Max words: 250

Having been a student for most of my life, I have amassed qualities that make me a prime candidate for your nursing program. For instance as a student of life sciences I have learned good observational skills. Then as a naval reservist I developed physical skills and as a Filipino-Canadian I am fluent in two languages. Finally as a peer councilor I gained through training emotional skills. These are all skills essential for a successful nurse to have. First a nurse must be able to spot if something is out of the ordinary especially in patient's condition. Second a nurse must be strong to be able to handle the physical demands of nursing. Finally a nurse must be caring, understanding and non-judgmental since patients comes from all walks of life.

Being bilingual is a strength of mine that I cherish dearly since it allows me access and exposure to numerous cultures. Thus greatly enhancing my understanding of the world and its people. But having an open mind is by far the greatest strength I posses because it enable me to learn new and interesting things. Thus I was able to try new things I never thought I could such as become a naval reservist.

Having experienced poverty and hardship first hand brought about my great interest in humanism. This lead me to pursue higher education and be involve in the Red Cross. For an educated person can reach further in life and do more for those who are in need.

Undergraduate / "Nursing and the naval reserve" - Contribution to Student Life Personal Statement [3]

Hello everyone I am to make a personal statement regarding what I can contribute to the student life and need help and grammar. Thank you very much:

Max Word: 250

Nursing and the naval reserve share a lot of things in common in order to be an effective unit. Both value team work to accomplish a given task efficiently. Also both value a person's ability and willingness to assume a leadership role, whenever the need arises. As a peer councilor I am trained to provide support to peers who have questions about sex, sexuality, LGBTQ and sexual health. I am also trained to happily refer peers to proper services, clinics, support groups and resources within the university environment and the community at large. A valuable resource for those who have basic questions on the given topics and are afraid or shy to go to a clinic. As a graduate of technical school in the field of Automation and Robotics I received extensive training on the fields of hydraulics, pneumatics, electronics and electricity. Fields that have wide ranging application including nursing. Hydraulic and pneumatic principles are essential when dealing with bodily fluids. Electrical principles are essential when dealing with brain and heart activities. Electronic principles are heavily utilized in both the operation and maintenance of equipments heavily used in healthcare environments. As a member of a visible minority I can further add to the multicolor diversity. I can offer insight into Asian cultures, values, and perspectives. As a student of mathematics I can happily offer assistance to others having trouble with mathematical concepts such as derivatives, integrations and statistics to name a few. A very useful skill to have since it is heavily utilized in nursing when it comes to determining such things as blood pressure, flow and period just to name a few.