soli
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / Personal Essay: An observational tour. [NEW]
I really need help. I've written it carelessly! Please tell me grammatical errors and your opinions.
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
I tried to warm my face by bringing it near fire, but my eyelashes didn't let; they were burning! I couldn't even move; I felt my whole body shook after each motion. I attempted to forget cold by following sparks in the air, but suddenly a cold breeze slapped my face and remembered me where I am. I thought stars had frozen too; they were all extremely white and were looking at us on that frigid night. Asleep- your enemy in the frigid weather- was trying to pull down my eyelids, and I avoided this by listening to music; there was an endless fight between us.
It was a frightening night in a desert. I was with Navid, one of my old friends. We had gone there to have an observational tour, but the car broke down on the way. The desert was so far from any places we could reach by walk and our cell phones didn't work, so we had to stay there until the morning.
The problem wasn't only the cold weather; we were not alone there. I usually saw several pairs of red eyes in the darkness, and also heard some frightening sounds. We were lucky to bring enough wood; it helped us to protect ourselves against attack of animals. I remembered that we made a circle with wood around ourselves and then put the rest in its center. When we set fire to wood, the eyes disappeared.
In oppose to difficulties that we had there, we spoke, drank coffee and prayed until the morning. Finally, the sun rose from far, snow-covered mountains. It gave us heat and light, but also assured us that we should "walk" to the nearest village. We found ourselves in a long road; we had abandoned the car and we were carrying our massive, expensive telescope.
We had walked a long way, maybe 5 miles! It was noon and the sun was laughing at us and had made our walking more difficult. I understood that the desert's nights are so cold and its days are so hot; we were in fight with the weather. Navid was tired and I tried to give him hope. I told him that one day I was walking with my grandfather in a long road. I felt tired after some minutes and began to criticize. My grandfather told me:"if you want to reach sooner to the end of your steep path, forget the length of the road!" I believe that this point helps us to pass difficulties and reach our goals. This advice helped us in that desert too; as we started to speak and think about nice things we wanted to do after this trip, our way became shorter.
Finally, we reached a small village. The villagers were so kind and gave us food and water. They also helped us to repair the car and found our way to home, but Navid was so exhausted and couldn't drive, so we stay at the village one day.
That trip taught me how to organize difficulties. I understood that when you have a little water, you should ration it; when you have to lose something, you'd better to lose the worthless thing; if you are in a dangerous or frightening situation, you must be vigilant. You should always use your sense and mind to solve baffles. You can give hope to someone by your words, so be careful about what you say. Your words will change a difficult situation only if you use them to say your positive opinions.
I also learned that for a great achievement you must lose some things, you should endure hardships and you need to believe in your way. It wasn't my last observational tour; I've had a lot of trips after that, and now I'm a good observer. I believe that to be a good scientist you have to take risks and don't worry about faults. "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."- Albert Einstein.
I really need help. I've written it carelessly! Please tell me grammatical errors and your opinions.
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
I tried to warm my face by bringing it near fire, but my eyelashes didn't let; they were burning! I couldn't even move; I felt my whole body shook after each motion. I attempted to forget cold by following sparks in the air, but suddenly a cold breeze slapped my face and remembered me where I am. I thought stars had frozen too; they were all extremely white and were looking at us on that frigid night. Asleep- your enemy in the frigid weather- was trying to pull down my eyelids, and I avoided this by listening to music; there was an endless fight between us.
It was a frightening night in a desert. I was with Navid, one of my old friends. We had gone there to have an observational tour, but the car broke down on the way. The desert was so far from any places we could reach by walk and our cell phones didn't work, so we had to stay there until the morning.
The problem wasn't only the cold weather; we were not alone there. I usually saw several pairs of red eyes in the darkness, and also heard some frightening sounds. We were lucky to bring enough wood; it helped us to protect ourselves against attack of animals. I remembered that we made a circle with wood around ourselves and then put the rest in its center. When we set fire to wood, the eyes disappeared.
In oppose to difficulties that we had there, we spoke, drank coffee and prayed until the morning. Finally, the sun rose from far, snow-covered mountains. It gave us heat and light, but also assured us that we should "walk" to the nearest village. We found ourselves in a long road; we had abandoned the car and we were carrying our massive, expensive telescope.
We had walked a long way, maybe 5 miles! It was noon and the sun was laughing at us and had made our walking more difficult. I understood that the desert's nights are so cold and its days are so hot; we were in fight with the weather. Navid was tired and I tried to give him hope. I told him that one day I was walking with my grandfather in a long road. I felt tired after some minutes and began to criticize. My grandfather told me:"if you want to reach sooner to the end of your steep path, forget the length of the road!" I believe that this point helps us to pass difficulties and reach our goals. This advice helped us in that desert too; as we started to speak and think about nice things we wanted to do after this trip, our way became shorter.
Finally, we reached a small village. The villagers were so kind and gave us food and water. They also helped us to repair the car and found our way to home, but Navid was so exhausted and couldn't drive, so we stay at the village one day.
That trip taught me how to organize difficulties. I understood that when you have a little water, you should ration it; when you have to lose something, you'd better to lose the worthless thing; if you are in a dangerous or frightening situation, you must be vigilant. You should always use your sense and mind to solve baffles. You can give hope to someone by your words, so be careful about what you say. Your words will change a difficult situation only if you use them to say your positive opinions.
I also learned that for a great achievement you must lose some things, you should endure hardships and you need to believe in your way. It wasn't my last observational tour; I've had a lot of trips after that, and now I'm a good observer. I believe that to be a good scientist you have to take risks and don't worry about faults. "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."- Albert Einstein.