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Posts by budboi
Joined: Dec 31, 2010
Last Post: Jan 1, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
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budboi   
Jan 1, 2011
Undergraduate / (Sound Recording Technology) about How I realized what major to pick. [2]

Topic of your choice - Ithaca College and SUNY at Ferdonia common application.

A lot of kids would have happily played with their toys untill they broke them; I didn't. When my parents would hand me a toy, I would pick up a screwdriver and dismantle the toys to see what made them tick. As I grew up, I learnt to fix a lot of things like computers and vacuum cleaners on my own. Seeing this a lot of people would say that I was going to be an engineer for sure. But it all changed entirely when I got my first guitar during my freshman year in high school.

My mom got me a cheap guitar because I was creating, rather than solving, problems with my screwdrivers. I knew that I loved technology but I also knew that I loved innovation even more. I picked up the guitar but didn't put it down. I took lessons from a friend and soon began playing impressively. I wouldn't let go of my guitar until the day I really heard myself sing.

With my knowledge of guitar and vocal abilities, I soon started singing in public. Everyone loved my performances but that was clearly not enough for me. I started taking vocal lessons and the improvement I found in my new self motivated me even more. I distinctly remember singing a song 'Hey there delillah' at the orientation for the juniors at the beginning of my senior year. A little less than a year had already passed when, one day, a girl ran into me. "Hey! You're the guy that sang 'Hey there delillah' at our orientation. You were really good. I love that song". The words "I love that song" gave me a whole new direction.

I did a little research and it turned out that nobody actually knew me with my name; all they remembered was the face and more importantly the song. Within a couple of days, all the juniors who walked around me all year had started becoming some of the best friends I ever had. And all I got out of this was how much meaning a song could carry.

I had started devoting a lot of my attention to new and different songs when one called "Fireflies" by Owl City caught my attention. The music comprised of a strange sound that was unlike anything i had ever heard. And to my utmost amazement it made me feel strongly elated. Not just happy but cheerful and warm inside. Everytime I listened to a song from this band I would feel, wierdly enough, very happy. I had spent almost an entire year listening to those when i was depressed or down. These songs were entirely my secret to being ridiculously lively and up all the time. I had found a treasure that would fill my life with happiness and smiles; in turn I would spread happiness into the lives of everyone around me.

I am a living example of the eficacy of sounds to touch lives and create miracles, to spread happiness and to create a better day for everyone. The main reason for me to want to major in Sound Recording Technology is to connect with people and to indulge myself in the study of a common language of sounds that has brought the world together. I someday hope to create something beautifu to add colour to the lives of everyone in and out-of reach.
budboi   
Jan 1, 2011
Undergraduate / Moving to new places has helped me be the person I'am today - Common App essay [3]

Since you began with the part about your senior year moving and went all the way back to your past movings and then again fast forwarded to your present situation, the reader would feel that the essay could have been more organised. So, in my opinion, it would be better if you started from the past and continued towards the present situation.

Here are a few more helpful tips to help you with your final draft. Good luck.

I often felt that I did not belong anywhere. - felt works better with past tense of do.

I had moved thousands of miles instead of moving from one city to another.

I remember my first day at high school - using MY here makes the reader feel more connected.

I realized - in place of realize

As parents, - in place of As my parents because you're relating to something general in the later part of that sentence.
budboi   
Jan 1, 2011
Undergraduate / "Special little brother" Tufts Supplement Essay [3]

You could use a conclusion which presents what you have learnt after you state what you thought.
A conclusion is generally better in present tense and context.
Good luck.
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