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Posts by playMUSICplay
Joined: Jan 5, 2011
Last Post: Jan 10, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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playMUSICplay   
Jan 5, 2011
Undergraduate / "All I need is loved ones, good health, and a stable environment." - Find X Chicago [3]

The prompt is simply "Find X" Feedback, spelling, and grammar corrections would be greatly appreciated! Thks I feel like the ending is not very good.

Individuals meander though life, trying to discover the piece that will make them whole, and happy. For some, finding "X" is obtaining wealth, a soul mate, or a lifelong career. For me to "Find X" I would have to find a person. This missing variable in my life, is my mother. My mom was rendered homeless four years ago due to a gambling addiction. Addiction is a stigma for homeless people, but hardly are they portrayed as neighbors, friends, or parents. People may see her on the street, dirty, and alone, but "that homeless woman" they might point at, is the missing "X" in my life.

Whatever generosity, or kindness lies in my heart, Mom aided in bringing it out as she raised me. Born in Cambodia, she and her family came to America to escape starvation, and war turmoil. Consequently, my mom would stuff my plate until it was completely covered in food, and make me sit for hours until I finished it all. She would yell at me if there was one spoonful of rice in the trash. Mom was strict, in order to teach my bothers and I a lesson. Where my mom was brought up, a spoonful of rice could of meant the difference between life and death. She taught me to never take what I had for granted, and I never did. When I was given money as I kid, I would give it all to charity, just as my mom had.

In the second grade, I saw a homeless person for the first time, during my vacation in New York City. The homeless man had been rummaging through the garbage. I wanted to give him money, but unfortunately I did not have any. Instead, I gave him my leftovers from McDonalds. I had then hurried on to my folks, so I would not get lost, but I realized my mom had been watching me the whole time. "What's wrong?" I had asked her. She had been looking hard at the homeless man. Mom pointed, and made me witness other people giving to the same homeless man I gave to. "I watched them notice what you did. And now they want to give to." Honestly, the few people did not seem happy to give him pocket money, but they still did. Leadership is the word my mom used. She told me I was someone who people followed through example. It was then that I was inspired to lead others to do good deeds.

Often, the two of us would talk about our future goals. My mom said the title of her book, if she ever wrote one, would be, "The Irony of Life". Mom wanted to write it about coming to America to seek a better life, yet ending up homeless because of poor decisions. After she told me about her book title speculations, she gave me a necklace. It first belonged to my grandma, who was the reason my mom and her brothers survived the war. The necklace is a reminder of my grandma's sacrifices for her children. More importantly, it is a reminder of my mom's confidence that I will better utilize the opportunities America has. My mom wanted me to be able to achieve the education, and success she did not.

Despite my mother's current circumstances, I know she is the one responsible for my generous heart. Its her who inspired me to lead people to do good deeds. My mom taught me to never take things for granted, and to utilize the opportunities that are available to me. She also, indirectly, gave me a lesson on materialism. Everyone has a missing variable that will make them whole. I know who the missing variable in my life is, and "Finding X" is one in the same.
playMUSICplay   
Jan 5, 2011
Undergraduate / a "Rice Alum" shirt -Why Rice: its name, resemblance to Harry Potter, research [2]

The fact that (my English professor hates when I use this phrase :<)
Rice University shares sharing its name with the most common staple food in the world, and the thought of wearing a "Rice Alum" shirt in the future, only to see people bewildered at my craziness are two of the many exciting reasons that motivated me to apply! Besides its name, what truly drew me closer to Rice University were the has amazing research facilities. Its multi-billion dollar endowment will surely contain the gargantuan research ambitions I will carry with me from my high school career to college. give me the opportunity to carry out the research ambitions I want to fulfill at Rice. In addition to that, the location of Rice University makes it a perfect destination for my future studies. With my relatives living just minutes away from the campus, I can easily drop by their houses on weekends for laundry and homemade food. I have met people from various cultures in the last three years, something that overwhelmed me after coming from a monotonous Indian society . I come from a monotonous, Indian society. For the past the years, it has been overwhelming to meet people from various different cultures. However,gradually as I started to gradaully enjoy the variety in the societypeople , I was more encouraged than ever, to desire the diversity offered by a university like Rice. Finally, (I would try to use a better transitioning word, or sentence such as "There are still many other reasons why I want to go to Rice.") I am an avid Harry Potter fan. And the fact that Rice has an amazing system of Residential College, which reminds me of the four houses that students at Hogwarts are divided into. In addition to that, Rice University's Owl mascot only helps its resemblance to Harry Potter!

(I would try to add an ending sentence that mentions the most important reason you want to go)
Hope I helped ^_^ I loved how you mentioned how you were not used to diversity, and now it something you want in a university. Good job and Good luck!
playMUSICplay   
Jan 10, 2011
Undergraduate / Ignorance and xenophobia, U of C Supplement, Dissolved and Solvent [13]

Really great essay, there was not a thing I did not like. It flowed well, and you gave your solution to the problem, supporting details. While reading it, I was engaged, and also found myself agreeing with you, or wanting to talk to you about the subject myself. Very strong essay, good luck ^_^
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