oxford
Jan 28, 2011
Undergraduate / "New era of personal recognition" CommonApp Essay [4]
There is no doubt that you're a very good writer. Each sentence of your write-up seems to glide into the other effortlessly and the overall flow is wonderful. I have just one suggestion and its not absolutely necessary but I think instead of explaining at the end of the essay 'my combination of
English, Irish, and Chinese', you might want to state it at the beginning so we can understand from the start, why your race is fascinating to your classmates and also have an image of you from the beginning.
You could put it this way: ''This was a common
occurrence amongst my peers;
they have always, for lack of a
better word, misunderstood my
background and heritage. Considering my combination of English, Irish, and Chinese, this isn't entirely suprising but nonetheless tiresome." (something like that)
There is no doubt that you're a very good writer. Each sentence of your write-up seems to glide into the other effortlessly and the overall flow is wonderful. I have just one suggestion and its not absolutely necessary but I think instead of explaining at the end of the essay 'my combination of
English, Irish, and Chinese', you might want to state it at the beginning so we can understand from the start, why your race is fascinating to your classmates and also have an image of you from the beginning.
You could put it this way: ''This was a common
occurrence amongst my peers;
they have always, for lack of a
better word, misunderstood my
background and heritage. Considering my combination of English, Irish, and Chinese, this isn't entirely suprising but nonetheless tiresome." (something like that)
