EmilyLee
Feb 13, 2011
Writing Feedback / Schools should fund the classes and extracurricular activities with the same money [8]
Hello everyone, I am new here. I really want to improve my writting skill in TOEFL. Thanks for giving me feedbacks. :))))
Topic: At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries ans should receive equal financial support.
When it comes to the issue of whether sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support, different people may hold various opinions due to their personal experience and individual backgrounds. Some people believe that sports and social should not receive the same financial funding because they are less important than classes and libraries. However, others are convinced that sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal amounts of financial support. As far as I am concerned, the later prevails. My perspectives will be delivered as follows.
To begin with, sports and social activities play a crucial role in university community. To be more specific, there are many aspects of study for students to learn. They attend math or chemistry classes to get knowledge helping them become more competitive. In addition to acquire academic knowledge in classes, they also need a different way to learn other information. Getting involved in sports and social activities, students can make friends and share their experience to others which help them develop personal relationship. It is no doubt that a well-developed personal relationship can contribute to success in future career. Thus, the sports and social activities are needed to be fund with money. With the help of financial support, they can offer a wide range of activities and instruments for students to use. Take myself as an example, I currently attend an investment club and a basketball team. These extracurricular activities not only help me cultivate a good relationship between my classmates but also keep me in healthy mental and physical body.
In addition, it is fact that classes and libraries are important in education, while sports and activities can release our stress and pressures from hard working in school. We can have an access to release our pressures by doing exercise or joining social activities. It does really make students feel recharged after attending such interesting activities. When going back to classes, they can become more efficient and more concentrated. Hence, classes and social activities are mutual influential and equally important to students.
It is conspicuous to perceive that sports and social activities are part of university community and help students to form personal relationships well. We can effortlessly draw a conclusion that schools should fund the classes and extracurricular activities with the same money because they are equally important to us.
Hello everyone, I am new here. I really want to improve my writting skill in TOEFL. Thanks for giving me feedbacks. :))))
Topic: At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries ans should receive equal financial support.
When it comes to the issue of whether sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support, different people may hold various opinions due to their personal experience and individual backgrounds. Some people believe that sports and social should not receive the same financial funding because they are less important than classes and libraries. However, others are convinced that sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal amounts of financial support. As far as I am concerned, the later prevails. My perspectives will be delivered as follows.
To begin with, sports and social activities play a crucial role in university community. To be more specific, there are many aspects of study for students to learn. They attend math or chemistry classes to get knowledge helping them become more competitive. In addition to acquire academic knowledge in classes, they also need a different way to learn other information. Getting involved in sports and social activities, students can make friends and share their experience to others which help them develop personal relationship. It is no doubt that a well-developed personal relationship can contribute to success in future career. Thus, the sports and social activities are needed to be fund with money. With the help of financial support, they can offer a wide range of activities and instruments for students to use. Take myself as an example, I currently attend an investment club and a basketball team. These extracurricular activities not only help me cultivate a good relationship between my classmates but also keep me in healthy mental and physical body.
In addition, it is fact that classes and libraries are important in education, while sports and activities can release our stress and pressures from hard working in school. We can have an access to release our pressures by doing exercise or joining social activities. It does really make students feel recharged after attending such interesting activities. When going back to classes, they can become more efficient and more concentrated. Hence, classes and social activities are mutual influential and equally important to students.
It is conspicuous to perceive that sports and social activities are part of university community and help students to form personal relationships well. We can effortlessly draw a conclusion that schools should fund the classes and extracurricular activities with the same money because they are equally important to us.