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Posts by gswarrior510
Joined: Apr 6, 2011
Last Post: Apr 8, 2011
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gswarrior510   
Apr 6, 2011
Undergraduate / "my commitment to continue to challenge myself" - UC Davis waitlist essay [4]

So I got waitlisted at UC Davis, and I need to write a 200 word essay with this prompt: Briefly tell us why you feel UC Davis is the right place for you to continue your education. Here is what I was thinking:

So any advice, and criticism on my essay would be greatly appreciated.

I believe UC Davis will be the right choice for me because as a first generation college student, I would like to aim as high as I can, and UC Davis is the best college that will help me succeed in that. As a student serious about his education, instead of taking a light load in my senior year, I took 3 AP classes as a commitment to my academics and to demonstrate my commitment to continue to challenge myself. I love UC Davis' engineering department as they have so many great professors such as Professor Qing Zhao, whom I admire. Which is exactly why I know strongly if I do get accepted that my first plan is to work hard to succeed as an engineer because that is truly what interests me the most. Through hard work, and perseverance I know I can achieve a degree in possibly electrical engineering in four years. With all the resources available here, I know there's no way I can fail. This is why UC Davis has always been my first choice, the first school I would choose to enroll. Thank you for giving me this opportunity, and I look forward to your decision.

It's 200 words exactly what I need. Thank you for any advice and such.
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