Posts by mroho

mroho

Apr 28, 2011

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay about the result of a survey of adult education [3]

Hello,

firstly I still new here. I want to exercise my writing skill to prepare IELTS test. For your comments and corrections I would be very thankful :)

here we go:
I report the result of a survey of adult education. There are two charts, which contain different information. One of them, the bar chart, shows the reasons why adults decide to study. Each person can have more than one reason. 38 until 40% of them decide to study because of the interest in the subject itself and also they want to get a qualification, which might be helpful for their job. This statement is proved, that 20 - 22% of them wants to study because it can be helpful for current job and it gives a chance to get a promotion. Another 20% enjoys learning and studying. Just 12% want to study to get a chance to change jobs. The rest, 9%, just want to meet people during their study. The pie chart shows about how costs of each course should be shared. Each can only has one opinion. Most of them, namely 40%, opine that the tuition fee shouldn't be shared. The 35% means that the employer should also contribute paying the fee. The rest, 25%, opines that the taxpayer should help them to pay for their study.

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mroho

May 4, 2011

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay about the result of a survey of adult education [3]

nice to meet you Kevin :)
thank you for your comments and corrections.

mroho

May 5, 2011

Writing Feedback / [IELTS Practice] My attempt on Creative Artists [4]

just my 2 cent:

Generally there is much type of artist, singer, actor, author, painter, etc. as artist, they can express their ideas and also themself in much kind of forms, like songs, poetries, dances, etc. when the government take some restriction with them, it could be hard for the artist.

Firstly, artist is a profession that normally incomparable with a scientist or a doctor. The people who want to be an artist don't have to study in a university; even universities offer a subject or major in art. Art is abstract, not science. Artist can perform better and better through experiences and practices, not just read from books. They don't also do research, like scientists. A perform from an artist is usually hard to compare to another one. It just like two different ways.

Secondly, restrictions in art could affect the performances, because normally artists work without limit. We can't also say which are good or bad. There is no accurate parameter to grade an artistic performance. Artist "speak" usually through their art. For dancer or maybe painter, it is important that they can opine their idea through their performance.

In conclusion I believe there is no way to take some restriction with them, because artists always discover a way to express themselves. We couldn't also give restriction just in an art genre, because it come always new genre. What we could do is, we should give some regulation, so art can't endanger us.