Writing Feedback / Do traditional skills and way of life die out when a country develops with technology [7]

Hi, I spent an hour on this essay for my own sake. I want to improve my writing skills. I re-wrote it using the basic ideas from the original essay. I hope it helps. I do also wish that someone correct and edit my writing, too!

Thanks.
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Nowadays ,the boom of technology bestows the world upon human's comfort and the economic development. It is undeniable that advances in technology have helped bring better economic development figures and improved quality of life in many parts of the world. There are some people arguing that along with the these above issues are the lost of traditional customs and lifestyles whereas other on the rest considers the benefits gaining from technology would rather be appreciated. Some people argue that technological development kills traditional skills and traditional lifestyles, while others on the opposite extreme, think that technology is the solution to all ills that have befallen on the world. I do not agree with both extremely disparate views. Growth in technology does not necessarily have to lead to the eventual death of traditional skills and lifestyles, nor should technology be taken as the Ultimate Savior of mankind.

In my opinion,the second point seems more reasonable.Firstly,it's undeniable that technology accompanies with the era of globalization and integration.This,and hence,is synonymous with the strength of improving technology in every country. Every society has its traditions and values that have been passed down to it from generation after generation. Many traditions and values, in their different forms and content, have oftentimes been helpful and harmless to the society they come from. Some traditions and values, on the other hand, have harmed the very society that has honored them for generations. There might be a number of reasons why certain societies stick to harmful traditional practices and values. Usually, it's out of necessity and lack of an alternative, but many a time, it is the result of inherited ignorance. Technology doesn't kill traditional skills. It actually improves upon them. Traditional skills serve as a base and foundation for the insightful wisdom people had in facing the challenges of their daily life with no advanced technology by their side. Technology may help sharpen things, reduce the amount of time and energy to do certain things, but the very basic art of the making of technology is manual and traditional.

There couldn't be any sensible argument to the point that a country shouldn't develop its technology lest it kills its traditional skills and lifestyles. With the right leadership and resources, a country can and should develop its technology without losing the helpful skills and lifestyles that it has been accustomed to. In fact, technology would help enrich and develop the useful skills and healthy lifestyles that a society honors for its uniqueness and well being. It's important that countries intentionally preserve their helpful traditional skills and lifestyles that have sustained them for centuries. Needless to repeat, they should keep them alive and growing.