tye654
May 19, 2011
Undergraduate / "harmonic sound chills of excitement" - a meaningful experience in your life [3]
I am being asked by my AICE English language teacher to write an application essay to a college of my choice and so I chose UF.
This essay is by far no where close to my actual writing ability, but I am not quite sure how to write a personal essay and so I ask you to please proofread and report anything you believe I should fix.
During the two and a half years that I participated in the school band my relationship with society evolved more than any other time in my life. I was by no means a music prodigy but I was an average trombone player. Although there were others that were far better skilled than I, I always practiced and always showed up for marching sessions and for that I was respected by the band director as well as my peers. I have always been a shy person and usually have had only two or three friends a year.
At the beginning of my band experience I kept to myself but after about a week I had grown to like my four companion trombonists. I enjoyed being part of this little group, but as I soon learned one cannot only know a few band people. By the middle of that first year I had become acquainted with everyone in the band and had made friends with a quarter of them. This small group of friends was odd but I grew to feel as though they were family. When the band director asked us to play individually, noise was produced but when we played together a harmonic sound was uncovered. When one heard this harmonic sound chills of excitement rushed over the skin and one would think how great it is t be a part of the source.
This experience taught me that everyone should do their part. I believe that because of my band experience I will make a great contribution to the University of Florida. I learned that hard work pays off and so I will serve as an image of an ideal student. As a result of my having practiced everyday and showed up to every practice session I have developed a good work ethic and hold dear the responsibility of doing my part to help the whole succeed.
I am being asked by my AICE English language teacher to write an application essay to a college of my choice and so I chose UF.
This essay is by far no where close to my actual writing ability, but I am not quite sure how to write a personal essay and so I ask you to please proofread and report anything you believe I should fix.
During the two and a half years that I participated in the school band my relationship with society evolved more than any other time in my life. I was by no means a music prodigy but I was an average trombone player. Although there were others that were far better skilled than I, I always practiced and always showed up for marching sessions and for that I was respected by the band director as well as my peers. I have always been a shy person and usually have had only two or three friends a year.
At the beginning of my band experience I kept to myself but after about a week I had grown to like my four companion trombonists. I enjoyed being part of this little group, but as I soon learned one cannot only know a few band people. By the middle of that first year I had become acquainted with everyone in the band and had made friends with a quarter of them. This small group of friends was odd but I grew to feel as though they were family. When the band director asked us to play individually, noise was produced but when we played together a harmonic sound was uncovered. When one heard this harmonic sound chills of excitement rushed over the skin and one would think how great it is t be a part of the source.
This experience taught me that everyone should do their part. I believe that because of my band experience I will make a great contribution to the University of Florida. I learned that hard work pays off and so I will serve as an image of an ideal student. As a result of my having practiced everyday and showed up to every practice session I have developed a good work ethic and hold dear the responsibility of doing my part to help the whole succeed.