luciustsang
Jun 21, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Academic subjects vs other subjects. [NEW]
Hello everyone, I've been preparing myself for the ielts test. I'm looking for some suggestions on my writing.
The topic is:
Schools should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be beneficial for their future career. Other subjects such as arts and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Here is my attempt:
The purpose of education to equip students with a wide range of knowledge and skills is based on the universal recognition that human needs and interests are diverse. Academic subjects taught at school enable students to be competent in the future work place, while non-academic subjects such as arts and sports offer distinctive pleasure and experiences, which are also important to the growth of children.
In order to make a living in the future, children must acquire knowledge and technical skills essential in the job market during their study at school. The vast majority of the knowledge and skills is yielded from the teaching of academic subjects such as mathematics and chemistry, which are always an indispensible part of the curriculum of any school. For example, children should have the opportunity to enroll in biology at school, as the subject is the fundamental of the professions of doctor and nurse.
However, the provision of schooling should not be just about educating students how to survive in the fierce job market. Other subjects such as arts and sports are crucial to the full development of individuals' potential. Apart from academic skills, children need to gain basic artistic skills, widely considered essential for any person, via the education of arts, which also meet their need to try things different from academic classes. Furthermore, the participation in sports affords the children a balanced school life and the pleasure not available in academic subjects.
To conclude, there is no doubt that children benefit from academic subjects in terms of future career. Meanwhile, other subjects are not negligible due to their unique advantages. As a result, it is inappropriate to play down the significance of these non-academic subjects.
looking forward to your reply!
Hello everyone, I've been preparing myself for the ielts test. I'm looking for some suggestions on my writing.
The topic is:
Schools should concentrate on teaching students the academic subjects that will be beneficial for their future career. Other subjects such as arts and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Here is my attempt:
The purpose of education to equip students with a wide range of knowledge and skills is based on the universal recognition that human needs and interests are diverse. Academic subjects taught at school enable students to be competent in the future work place, while non-academic subjects such as arts and sports offer distinctive pleasure and experiences, which are also important to the growth of children.
In order to make a living in the future, children must acquire knowledge and technical skills essential in the job market during their study at school. The vast majority of the knowledge and skills is yielded from the teaching of academic subjects such as mathematics and chemistry, which are always an indispensible part of the curriculum of any school. For example, children should have the opportunity to enroll in biology at school, as the subject is the fundamental of the professions of doctor and nurse.
However, the provision of schooling should not be just about educating students how to survive in the fierce job market. Other subjects such as arts and sports are crucial to the full development of individuals' potential. Apart from academic skills, children need to gain basic artistic skills, widely considered essential for any person, via the education of arts, which also meet their need to try things different from academic classes. Furthermore, the participation in sports affords the children a balanced school life and the pleasure not available in academic subjects.
To conclude, there is no doubt that children benefit from academic subjects in terms of future career. Meanwhile, other subjects are not negligible due to their unique advantages. As a result, it is inappropriate to play down the significance of these non-academic subjects.
looking forward to your reply!