Undergraduate / Drawing Guinness - 150 words or less work experience (common app) [6]

ok forget the previous essays and here is my final version:

As a bartender, drawing Guinness from a tap requires a certain finesse and patience. A pint glass designed specifically for this task is held at a 45-degree angle, allowing few bubbles to form. After being filled three-quarters of the way, the beer is then given time to settle, allowing a perfect creamy head to form at the top of the glass. Once it settles, the glass is then filled the rest of the way and served to another satisfied customer. The same precision and care devoted to this technique is much like the attentiveness seen in the hospitality industry. While staying at the Sheraton Boston Hotel, I noticed this same application in every tiny detail, from the fresh orchids in the main lobby, to the front desk agents and bellhops smiling and being helpful. Each feature all worked to create that same sense of satisfaction. This dedication to detail plays a key role in creating an amicable atmosphere for guests as well as providing service in a timely fashion.

Only problem is this is 171 words. So I was wondering if the last sentence was deleted if it would sound ok?

Thanks.

Undergraduate / Drawing Guinness - 150 words or less work experience (common app) [6]

sounds great however it's still too long. do u know if they cut off the essay if you type more than 150 words? if so, i changed the beginning part back to the original which uses fewer words.

As a bartender, I learned that drawing Guinness from a tap requires a certain finesse and patience. A specific pint glass is held at a 45-degree angle, allowing less bubbles to form and is filled three-quarters of the way. The beer is allowed to settle, creating the perfect creamy head at the top of the glass. Once it settles, the glass is filled to the top and is ready to be served. The same precision and care devoted to this technique is much like the attentiveness seen in the hospitality industry. While staying at the Sheraton Boston Hotel, I noticed this same application in every tiny detail, from the fresh orchids in the main lobby, to the smiling, helpful front desk agents and bellhops. This dedication to detail plays a key role in creating an amicable atmosphere for guests as well as providing service in a timely fashion.

Undergraduate / "Am I really going through with this?"; the experience which caused me to choose this field of study [5]

IGNORE ALL PREVIOUS ENTRIES - I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DELETE THEM BUT HERE IS MY FINAL VERSION THAT SHOULD HOPEFULLY JUST NEED GRAMMATICAL CORRECTIONS:

What experiences have led you to select your professional field?
3000 characters max

I slowly pushed the door open and thought "Am I really going through with this?" It was my first class at the New England Bartending School where I would learn the necessary skills and important aspects of the bartending job. I looked around and seated were six individuals, all older than myself, looking for career changes or extra cash. I, however, wanted to take my first step into the hospitality industry. During the next five days, I learned how to use a jigger, a strainer, and a cocktail shaker. I also memorized not only what ingredients were used to create a variety of drinks but also the appropriate glass to serve them in as well as the correct garnish. I learned that working as a bartender does not only mean being able to make a drink for someone, but it also involves a great deal of responsibility.

The bartender controls the bar environment and needs to be aware of everything that is going on. Counting drinks to ensure that guests do not become intoxicated, making certain that the bar is fully stocked with alcohol and equipped with the necessary tools, generating conversation with guests and being able to anticipate their every need and exceed their expectations are just a few of the responsibilities that a bartender has to fulfill. The training was extremely helpful and gave me the basics that I needed to feel comfortable working in the hospitality industry. However, the firsthand experience that I received actually working as a bartender or a catering company could not be surpassed.

Working as a bartender has taught me how to function in a fast-paced environment as well as have the ability to multi-task qualities that the hospitality industry demands. I have to be able to maintain a coherent thought process when listening to drink orders and remembering what ingredients make up hundreds of cocktails. For instance, if I needed to prepare an order that consisted of a Cosmopolitan, Screwdriver, and baspberry raiquiri along with three bottles of beer and a glass of wine, I need to know the ingredients that comprise the cocktails and the best steps for completing the order so the beverages taste their best. Also, I am not only providing guests with accurate and timely service, but I am also providing them with a comfortable and relaxed environment by being conversational and engaging.

Though working as a bartender entails a lot of responsibility, the rewards from the job are innumerable. From entertaining guests and making them feel comfortable and welcome to possessing the art of conversation, careful listening, and keen observation to even enjoying the day-to-day interactions with guests and co-workers, I find that my personality and skills help me create a great atmosphere for a range of diverse guests. It is this ability, combined with my love for the industry, and the relentless pursuing of excellence that has lead me to believe that I would do well and be happy in the hospitality industry.

Undergraduate / "Am I really going through with this?"; the experience which caused me to choose this field of study [5]


Do I need a comma after School and before where?

Thanks.

Undergraduate / "Am I really going through with this?"; the experience which caused me to choose this field of study [5]

Thanks so much. I am guessing that I do not need a comma after School and before where?