jhogan
Feb 10, 2007
Writing Feedback / The Majestic Camping Trip; Narrative essay [NEW]
Need a little feedback on narrative essay please
The Majestic Camping Trip
To this day when I ask my husband if he wants to go camping, I get an explicit reaction. He quickly reminds me of the Memorial Day weekend, five years ago, when he literally wanted to choke the life out of me. That weekend proved to be a test on his sense of humor and his patience.
It was Friday afternoon and my simple task was to gather the necessary supplies while my husband was at work. So I jumped in my vehicle and made my way down the unusually crowded streets and found myself at one of my least favorite places, especially on a Holiday, Wal-Mart. I grabbed a cart and headed to the food department and got what I thought was feasible to eat. Then I headed over to the sporting goods, I recalled my husband saying we need camp fuel and a tent. I found a tent easy enough; it had been opened and marked for clearance. But as I searched for the camp fuel I noticed there were three different kinds to choose from: propane, lamp oil and camp fuel. A particular one caught my eye when I read; citronella lamp oil repels mosquitoes and has a fresh orange scent. I thought how nice keep the bugs off with a pleasant fragrance and no need to buy that greasy aerosol bug repellant. It should be just as good as that as that camp fuel and it is a whole lot cheaper.
I made my way home and began to gather everything I thought we were going to need and pack it in the truck. I started by loading the items I purchased at Wal-Mart, the lamp oil and tent. I thought we will be there in plenty of time and we have a lantern and there is no need to take a flashlight and what could possibly happen so close to home that we would need a first aid kit. I loaded only one sleeping bag, how romantic a night under the stars, and anxiously waited for my husband to arrive. Although he was late coming home, we waded once more through rush hour traffic and finally made our way to the interstate; it was only three hours to Lake Tenkiller. He told me it would be dark when we arrive and I said that is okay we have a lantern.
When we finally arrived we picked out a place to camp and paid the necessary dues. He started unloading the truck and asked me where the camp fuel was. I said well I got lamp oil with citronella to help ward off mosquitoes, he said that is not going to work. Give it a try I said. Okay where is the flashlight? I proceeded to inform him we had a lantern and did not need a flashlight. Though it was dark, I could still see the anger building in his eyes as he filled the lantern with that orange scented oil. As he lit the lantern it erupted in a ball of fire similar to a nuclear explosion. He screamed a few choice words that would make a sailor blush, jumping around while flailing his arms and said I burned my hand, do I need to even ask if we have anything for that. With my back turned to him, laughing profusely and trying not to wet myself, I thought wow he could have won an Oscar for that performance. He then informed me that I should extinguish the flames and start getting the tent ready, because he was going to the nearest store to look for the appropriate fuel and a first aid kit. I did not dare to point out the fact that we had no flashlight.
By the light of the moon and the stars I began unpacking the tent and promptly realized that there was something missing; the instructions. I took all the pieces out and tried to categorize them. As I started to panic the night got really bright, it was the headlights of our truck. I thought he is really going to be mad at me now. He emerged from the truck with his freshly bandaged right hand and said, now what. Trying to hide the fact there were no instructions I said there is nothing to worry about I have put a tent together before. When he re-lit the lantern with the appropriate fuel I then realized I had no idea what I was doing. I struggled with that tent for two hours feeling like a toddler attempting to put a square where a circle should be. My husband finally gave up and said I will just sleep in the truck. Where is my sleeping bag? I then had the unusual task of telling him I had only brought one. I awoke the next mourning to find him asleep on the rocks. I woke him up and asked if would like anything to eat, he just looked at me and said I think its time to go home.
Looking back though, my husband really does have a sense of humor and a bundle of patience. Every time I remind him of the trip he laughs and says yes sweet heart I remember. Although we have only been camping one time since, I still to this day have no idea how that tent goes together.
Need a little feedback on narrative essay please
The Majestic Camping Trip
To this day when I ask my husband if he wants to go camping, I get an explicit reaction. He quickly reminds me of the Memorial Day weekend, five years ago, when he literally wanted to choke the life out of me. That weekend proved to be a test on his sense of humor and his patience.
It was Friday afternoon and my simple task was to gather the necessary supplies while my husband was at work. So I jumped in my vehicle and made my way down the unusually crowded streets and found myself at one of my least favorite places, especially on a Holiday, Wal-Mart. I grabbed a cart and headed to the food department and got what I thought was feasible to eat. Then I headed over to the sporting goods, I recalled my husband saying we need camp fuel and a tent. I found a tent easy enough; it had been opened and marked for clearance. But as I searched for the camp fuel I noticed there were three different kinds to choose from: propane, lamp oil and camp fuel. A particular one caught my eye when I read; citronella lamp oil repels mosquitoes and has a fresh orange scent. I thought how nice keep the bugs off with a pleasant fragrance and no need to buy that greasy aerosol bug repellant. It should be just as good as that as that camp fuel and it is a whole lot cheaper.
I made my way home and began to gather everything I thought we were going to need and pack it in the truck. I started by loading the items I purchased at Wal-Mart, the lamp oil and tent. I thought we will be there in plenty of time and we have a lantern and there is no need to take a flashlight and what could possibly happen so close to home that we would need a first aid kit. I loaded only one sleeping bag, how romantic a night under the stars, and anxiously waited for my husband to arrive. Although he was late coming home, we waded once more through rush hour traffic and finally made our way to the interstate; it was only three hours to Lake Tenkiller. He told me it would be dark when we arrive and I said that is okay we have a lantern.
When we finally arrived we picked out a place to camp and paid the necessary dues. He started unloading the truck and asked me where the camp fuel was. I said well I got lamp oil with citronella to help ward off mosquitoes, he said that is not going to work. Give it a try I said. Okay where is the flashlight? I proceeded to inform him we had a lantern and did not need a flashlight. Though it was dark, I could still see the anger building in his eyes as he filled the lantern with that orange scented oil. As he lit the lantern it erupted in a ball of fire similar to a nuclear explosion. He screamed a few choice words that would make a sailor blush, jumping around while flailing his arms and said I burned my hand, do I need to even ask if we have anything for that. With my back turned to him, laughing profusely and trying not to wet myself, I thought wow he could have won an Oscar for that performance. He then informed me that I should extinguish the flames and start getting the tent ready, because he was going to the nearest store to look for the appropriate fuel and a first aid kit. I did not dare to point out the fact that we had no flashlight.
By the light of the moon and the stars I began unpacking the tent and promptly realized that there was something missing; the instructions. I took all the pieces out and tried to categorize them. As I started to panic the night got really bright, it was the headlights of our truck. I thought he is really going to be mad at me now. He emerged from the truck with his freshly bandaged right hand and said, now what. Trying to hide the fact there were no instructions I said there is nothing to worry about I have put a tent together before. When he re-lit the lantern with the appropriate fuel I then realized I had no idea what I was doing. I struggled with that tent for two hours feeling like a toddler attempting to put a square where a circle should be. My husband finally gave up and said I will just sleep in the truck. Where is my sleeping bag? I then had the unusual task of telling him I had only brought one. I awoke the next mourning to find him asleep on the rocks. I woke him up and asked if would like anything to eat, he just looked at me and said I think its time to go home.
Looking back though, my husband really does have a sense of humor and a bundle of patience. Every time I remind him of the trip he laughs and says yes sweet heart I remember. Although we have only been camping one time since, I still to this day have no idea how that tent goes together.