Undergraduate / 'art has given me awards and satisfaction' -Extracurricular Essay [5]

Hey DarthMaul,

I'm sort of new at this, so my comments might be a bit off or simply ridiculous. Take that into account before making any drastic changes.

Your essay seems really good, however I think it would be better if you found a way to not start both sentences on the intro with I. Also, I think that the use of palette sounds repetitive.

Good luck!

Undergraduate / 'art has given me awards and satisfaction' -Extracurricular Essay [5]

I feel you :)
I am also an artist (well, aspiring since it has been almost impossible to find a decent teacher/class), but with far less experience. I feel tempted to do some grammar and spelling corrections, but since English is not my native language I'm afraid I might ruin your essay.

For slowing the pace down I would say you could start by describing how you felt when you stood before the blank canvas. The sensations, emotions, burst of ideas. After doing so, you could continue with what you already have.

Regarding the first paragraph:
I understand what you want to say with the brush thingy, but don't really know how to put it into words right now + it would be better if your voice is kept.

It would also help your essay if after the brush thingy you wrote something more general (maybe how you feel about your art) - that might make the transition between the anecdote and the description a bit more smooth.

Again, this are merely suggestions from a unexperienced hs student who also happens to be a non-native speaker.