HopefulOne
Oct 10, 2011
Undergraduate / 'How My New School Has Changed Me' - Common App Essay [2]
Here's my college essay for the Common App
- I'm not going to use that title for the essay (too generic)
- I need to cut 29 words to make it 500 (which is maximum)
- Could I ditch the opening paragraph, and just get into it?
The foreign constraint around my neck resulted in a half-hearted smile. My mother insisted that I take a good picture before I left the house. That's just how moms are on the first day of school. But this day wasn't like the other ten before it. No, this one would begin my time at Memphis University School.
I had heard about MUS since I was ten years old. My father employed a number of Owls (as MUS students are called) at his smoothie café, and I loved spending my afternoons at the café with my dad and his workers. I vividly remember Larry, a senior at MUS, telling me about a broad number of courses available like "Irish Short Fiction" and traditions like Friday chapels. I badly wanted to attend. I was not able to because of financial circumstances at the time, so my adolescent mind wandered elsewhere.
I was unsatisfied for two years before I rekindled my childhood idea. The tipping point came after seeing a majority of students from my high school, including my older sister, enroll at the local community college, and then drop out a year or two later. I did not want that future, and I believed that MUS could help change my trajectory.
MUS has sped up my maturing process significantly. I consider this a good thing as I have benefited greatly. Teachers at MUS desire for us to learn the material; not just get the grade. I'm encouraged to absorb the knowledge of my teachers and classmates through questioning and listening. In Short Story Composition, I've learned how to give and receive constructive criticism for my work, and then refine it to a higher quality.
To come up with quality work, I've had to learn how to really "think". Whether in SSC or Calculus, I'm now able to approach every problem on my own and come up with a creative solution rather than simply regurgitate a textbook definition.
Nonetheless, I still believe that the most important skill MUS has taught me is how to function independently. Since I did not have life-long friends when I arrived, I had to relearn what toddlers know best: how to make friends. I'll admit, it wasn't easy at first. But after slamming comrades on the mats at wrestling practice, crunching numbers in physics labs, and getting rowdy at football games together, I've forged some great friendships. MUS has also taught me about the importance of a good reputation. Coming from a different socioeconomic background, I can see how some may view MUS in a stereotypical light. I've learned that humility is the best combatant, and as my headmaster once said," it is our duty to jealously protect the reputation of our school."
I do want to make MUS seem as if it is a perfect school with perfect students. But the school deserves a lot for its efforts. Although I'm still the same kid who finds it awkward when my mom wants to snap a bunch of pics, I've been refined to more fully utilize my talents. The real difference between myself two years ago and myself now is that the smile is real.
Here's my college essay for the Common App
- I'm not going to use that title for the essay (too generic)
- I need to cut 29 words to make it 500 (which is maximum)
- Could I ditch the opening paragraph, and just get into it?
The foreign constraint around my neck resulted in a half-hearted smile. My mother insisted that I take a good picture before I left the house. That's just how moms are on the first day of school. But this day wasn't like the other ten before it. No, this one would begin my time at Memphis University School.
I had heard about MUS since I was ten years old. My father employed a number of Owls (as MUS students are called) at his smoothie café, and I loved spending my afternoons at the café with my dad and his workers. I vividly remember Larry, a senior at MUS, telling me about a broad number of courses available like "Irish Short Fiction" and traditions like Friday chapels. I badly wanted to attend. I was not able to because of financial circumstances at the time, so my adolescent mind wandered elsewhere.
I was unsatisfied for two years before I rekindled my childhood idea. The tipping point came after seeing a majority of students from my high school, including my older sister, enroll at the local community college, and then drop out a year or two later. I did not want that future, and I believed that MUS could help change my trajectory.
MUS has sped up my maturing process significantly. I consider this a good thing as I have benefited greatly. Teachers at MUS desire for us to learn the material; not just get the grade. I'm encouraged to absorb the knowledge of my teachers and classmates through questioning and listening. In Short Story Composition, I've learned how to give and receive constructive criticism for my work, and then refine it to a higher quality.
To come up with quality work, I've had to learn how to really "think". Whether in SSC or Calculus, I'm now able to approach every problem on my own and come up with a creative solution rather than simply regurgitate a textbook definition.
Nonetheless, I still believe that the most important skill MUS has taught me is how to function independently. Since I did not have life-long friends when I arrived, I had to relearn what toddlers know best: how to make friends. I'll admit, it wasn't easy at first. But after slamming comrades on the mats at wrestling practice, crunching numbers in physics labs, and getting rowdy at football games together, I've forged some great friendships. MUS has also taught me about the importance of a good reputation. Coming from a different socioeconomic background, I can see how some may view MUS in a stereotypical light. I've learned that humility is the best combatant, and as my headmaster once said," it is our duty to jealously protect the reputation of our school."
I do want to make MUS seem as if it is a perfect school with perfect students. But the school deserves a lot for its efforts. Although I'm still the same kid who finds it awkward when my mom wants to snap a bunch of pics, I've been refined to more fully utilize my talents. The real difference between myself two years ago and myself now is that the smile is real.