pepper
Oct 28, 2011
Undergraduate / UIUC essay #1 - the need to endeavor [2]
In an essay of 300 words or less, please describe how your past circumstances and experiences (such as your upbringing, community, and/or activities) impacted who you are, your future goals, and your choice of major. If you haven't decided on a college or major yet, briefly explain your intentions and aspirations for your first year at Illinois.
With only a second to spare, my reflexes kick into gear and my fist shoots out in attempt to connect with my opponent's chest, landing a clean punch and scoring a point. This sparring is kumite, the skillful combination and application of basic techniques, a fundamental of Shotokan Karate.
I've watched my father practice the martial art as a black belt over the years, though I never really considered practicing Karate myself. It wasn't until my sophomore year that I decided to get my feet wet. Stepping onto the cold, hard wood floor of the dojo for the first time made my stomach twist.
I was the oldest white belt on the floor then, a little embarrassed by that. Self-doubt bubbled in my mind; I couldn't possibly catch up. There's always a first time for everything, I figured, so I stuck it out, and by the end of my first class, I knew how to make a proper fist. It was something so simple, but as I would soon come to learn as I rose up in the ranks and began to teach newcomers just as nervous as I was, everyone needs to start somewhere. One small push can turn a rolling pebble into an avalanche - a metaphor I remembered upon receiving first place at my first kumite competition.
In Karate, there are five virtues of the dojo-kun to keep in mind, and of those five, the need to endeavor strikes me as the most moving. To endeavor means to face that gnawing fear of failure in spite of the odds, to strive for the best while expecting the worst - something I think I've accomplished with Karate and want to continue at UIUC. While I'm applying undeclared, I hope to dedicate my first year at UIUC to finding my niche as best I can - to endeavor, so to say. As Gichin Funakoshi, the father of Shotokan Karate, is often quoted, "Karate is like boiling water: without heat, it returns to its tepid state," a quote most applicable to many of life's pursuits, as well as education.
346/300 words
I feel like I don't need the first paragraph. Leaving it out entirely would give me 297/300.
On a non-essay related note, is it better for me to apply undeclared? I don't really have a set major, but I feel like filling in one now wouldn't answer the prompt as well as I want.
Any and all help appreciated!
In an essay of 300 words or less, please describe how your past circumstances and experiences (such as your upbringing, community, and/or activities) impacted who you are, your future goals, and your choice of major. If you haven't decided on a college or major yet, briefly explain your intentions and aspirations for your first year at Illinois.
With only a second to spare, my reflexes kick into gear and my fist shoots out in attempt to connect with my opponent's chest, landing a clean punch and scoring a point. This sparring is kumite, the skillful combination and application of basic techniques, a fundamental of Shotokan Karate.
I've watched my father practice the martial art as a black belt over the years, though I never really considered practicing Karate myself. It wasn't until my sophomore year that I decided to get my feet wet. Stepping onto the cold, hard wood floor of the dojo for the first time made my stomach twist.
I was the oldest white belt on the floor then, a little embarrassed by that. Self-doubt bubbled in my mind; I couldn't possibly catch up. There's always a first time for everything, I figured, so I stuck it out, and by the end of my first class, I knew how to make a proper fist. It was something so simple, but as I would soon come to learn as I rose up in the ranks and began to teach newcomers just as nervous as I was, everyone needs to start somewhere. One small push can turn a rolling pebble into an avalanche - a metaphor I remembered upon receiving first place at my first kumite competition.
In Karate, there are five virtues of the dojo-kun to keep in mind, and of those five, the need to endeavor strikes me as the most moving. To endeavor means to face that gnawing fear of failure in spite of the odds, to strive for the best while expecting the worst - something I think I've accomplished with Karate and want to continue at UIUC. While I'm applying undeclared, I hope to dedicate my first year at UIUC to finding my niche as best I can - to endeavor, so to say. As Gichin Funakoshi, the father of Shotokan Karate, is often quoted, "Karate is like boiling water: without heat, it returns to its tepid state," a quote most applicable to many of life's pursuits, as well as education.
346/300 words
I feel like I don't need the first paragraph. Leaving it out entirely would give me 297/300.
On a non-essay related note, is it better for me to apply undeclared? I don't really have a set major, but I feel like filling in one now wouldn't answer the prompt as well as I want.
Any and all help appreciated!