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Posts by mteghbali
Joined: Oct 26, 2011
Last Post: Oct 26, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Islamic Republic of Iran

Displayed posts: 2
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mteghbali   
Oct 26, 2011
Letters / motivation letter for the field of : International Sports sceinces [2]

Hi. I need help in correcting my motivation letter. pls check and reply . appreciate your kind attention.
Here it is:
Dear...
I am interested in applying for a Master's Degree Program in International Sports science starting in 2012.Sports has always been my most favorate field and I am now determined to consider sport academically and experience new events in this respect and be a part of university activities to show my creativity in the practical situations. I enjoyed learning about your program through internet and found University of ....the right place to continue my education and to reach my goal through International Sports Sciences program.

My bachelor's Degree in English Language Translation has provided me with the ability of searching up to date information regarding coaching, lifeguard and fitness assessment.

I volunteered over 100 hours at Milad and Fajr Swimming Pool (2011), which gave me the opportunity to experience and enjoy several different aspects of the lifeguard field.

I am currently self-studying the duties of being a perfect lifeguard and swim coach, which I feel will enhance my abilities as a lifeguard and coach. My volunteer background has included how to save people's lives at the time of danger.

My main subjects of interest are swimming, volleyball, basketball, ping-pong, badminton, running, roller-skating ... . I want to gain enough knowledge in all major fields of sport, though I want to focus on the mentioned fields later.

In Addition to my mentioned capabilities, I am attending in Aerobics classes. I think in my future career as a Manager in an International sports working field, this experience will also be useful.

I have always been enthusiastic in sports. Because it has several effects in our lives including: Physical fitness, stress reduction, social facilitation, self-steam, achievement motivation, social facilitation, competition, ... .

Furthermore I have passed a training course as employee in a travel agency confirmed by the Tourism Organization, which I think would be helpful for me to choose my profile at university as "Sport Management and Tourism".

To choose the right University for my academic studies I already visited some Universities in Germany and also....Univeristy. I talked to Mr. ....who guided me in my academic planning. After having known about the course structure and visiting the campus I am sure that the University of ... would be the opt University for me to continue my studies because it represents to me the modern and international environment I want to be dealing with.I am confident that I will like the subjects offered in the Masters program.

Sincerely,
mteghbali   
Oct 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / Are people overly influenced by misleading images? Score my SAT essay: [3]

in the first paragragh, you should write: Making illusions, misleading images or ideas,...
I think it would be better to write : we live in an era of information.
The is redundant in the second paragraph and the second essay : Internet is obviously powerful ...
as you said there are also some typos in your writing, like: now days : that must be : nowadays.
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