jennifervuvu
Nov 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / A sense of competition is necessary for success in life, and should therefore be encouraged. [NEW]
Statement:
Competition or co-operation?
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Would like to ask for correction from all of you!
Thank from my heart!
My essay:
It has become more and more common for most academic institutions to organize some competitions, such as sport competitions or excellent pupils' competitions, as part of their training schedules. There are those who claim that youth should be motivated by taking part in these programmes, while others content that competing is less effective than cooperating for children to become more mature. In this essay, I shall examine both sides of this issue.
There are several reasons why competitions are extremely necessary in school. Firstly, it would bring great benefits to participants. For example, not only can competition engage pupils to try their best to become the winner but also help them express their strengths. Consequently, it is highly likely that pupil who participating in some competitions will become more independent and patient. Secondly, through organizing competing in sport or music we can recognize the winner as the best person. By doing this, the winner might be a good role model for others.
Despite the above arguments, it would rather for young people to support each other without competing. Encouraging children to compete may have a negative impact on them. In addition to children can treat others in the bad way to become the winner also get more aggressive and violent. Moreover, if children can be encouraged to work in a team, they will be benefited. The primary advantage is they can learn team work skills that are really necessary for their career. Furthermore, strong points of each member in a team would be performed. From this, each child can learn from their cooperator.
In conclusion, I believe that a sense of competition is necessary for success in life, and should therefore be encouraged.
Statement:
Competition or co-operation?
---------
Would like to ask for correction from all of you!
Thank from my heart!
My essay:
It has become more and more common for most academic institutions to organize some competitions, such as sport competitions or excellent pupils' competitions, as part of their training schedules. There are those who claim that youth should be motivated by taking part in these programmes, while others content that competing is less effective than cooperating for children to become more mature. In this essay, I shall examine both sides of this issue.
There are several reasons why competitions are extremely necessary in school. Firstly, it would bring great benefits to participants. For example, not only can competition engage pupils to try their best to become the winner but also help them express their strengths. Consequently, it is highly likely that pupil who participating in some competitions will become more independent and patient. Secondly, through organizing competing in sport or music we can recognize the winner as the best person. By doing this, the winner might be a good role model for others.
Despite the above arguments, it would rather for young people to support each other without competing. Encouraging children to compete may have a negative impact on them. In addition to children can treat others in the bad way to become the winner also get more aggressive and violent. Moreover, if children can be encouraged to work in a team, they will be benefited. The primary advantage is they can learn team work skills that are really necessary for their career. Furthermore, strong points of each member in a team would be performed. From this, each child can learn from their cooperator.
In conclusion, I believe that a sense of competition is necessary for success in life, and should therefore be encouraged.