mikeruss1
Nov 26, 2011
Undergraduate / Allied Health Program - Common App essay- Diversity [2]
This is my fourth draft, any critique is appreciated. Thank you!
A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
As I stand in the emergency room, observant, a stout Saudi woman coughs up a green secretion into a beaker in the nurse's hand while muttering a slew of words to her son that I couldn't even begin to understand, and I ask myself "How did I ever end up here?"
It all started about seven months ago when I decided to apply for the Allied Health Partnership Program. Even though only ten would be admitted out of forty, I hoped that I would be one of those ten selected. This was important to me because I have always wanted to pursue the career of a physician, but as I grow older I knew I needed to start making some kind of decisions about what I wanted to do. I knew that if I could get into this program I would be able to get a taste of many different fields, along with excellent preparation for college. When I was accepted, I, at first was ecstatic but then I realized that I would have an extremely challenging workload, along with having to being forced to make new friends for the fist time in a while.
When the first day of school came the following fall, I found my classmates standing outside the entrance to the hospital. I quickly made acquaintance with them as we set off on our tour through the hospital. During the weeks to come everyone became friends very easily, probably due to the same interests in healthcare along with other similar goals. We soon formed a family like bond between us that was unique to our special class.
Weeks later I found myself on a team, working on a budget for a failing clinic with the CFO of the hospital. I spoke with him of ideas I had that would increase the operating margin of our failing orthopedic clinic, surprised at how comfortable I was conversing with someone of his stature. The following week I found my self standing in the conference room, legs quivering uncontrollably. I quickly pulled myself together and mustered up some confidence and led my group acting as the physician from a failing health clinic. After a smooth presentation, I walked proudly to my leather seat where I was met by some kind words from the CEO who was sitting next to me. Excited by my great feat, I watched as my classmates stumbled through their presentations, and wondered if all my hard work practicing in front of mirrors payed off.
So now here I am weeks later, walking to the hospital in late autumn morning, my white lab coat lagging behind as I make my way to the "morgue door." As I make my way through the labyrinth like walls of the hospital towards the emergency room, I reflect on my classmate's traumatic experience of a woman's death in the emergency room the previous day. I walked into the emergency room curiously and expecting something exciting to happen. I met my mentor as she caught a sample of a Saudi woman's mucus. After a moment of self reflection, I realized this is where I belong.
This is my fourth draft, any critique is appreciated. Thank you!
A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
As I stand in the emergency room, observant, a stout Saudi woman coughs up a green secretion into a beaker in the nurse's hand while muttering a slew of words to her son that I couldn't even begin to understand, and I ask myself "How did I ever end up here?"
It all started about seven months ago when I decided to apply for the Allied Health Partnership Program. Even though only ten would be admitted out of forty, I hoped that I would be one of those ten selected. This was important to me because I have always wanted to pursue the career of a physician, but as I grow older I knew I needed to start making some kind of decisions about what I wanted to do. I knew that if I could get into this program I would be able to get a taste of many different fields, along with excellent preparation for college. When I was accepted, I, at first was ecstatic but then I realized that I would have an extremely challenging workload, along with having to being forced to make new friends for the fist time in a while.
When the first day of school came the following fall, I found my classmates standing outside the entrance to the hospital. I quickly made acquaintance with them as we set off on our tour through the hospital. During the weeks to come everyone became friends very easily, probably due to the same interests in healthcare along with other similar goals. We soon formed a family like bond between us that was unique to our special class.
Weeks later I found myself on a team, working on a budget for a failing clinic with the CFO of the hospital. I spoke with him of ideas I had that would increase the operating margin of our failing orthopedic clinic, surprised at how comfortable I was conversing with someone of his stature. The following week I found my self standing in the conference room, legs quivering uncontrollably. I quickly pulled myself together and mustered up some confidence and led my group acting as the physician from a failing health clinic. After a smooth presentation, I walked proudly to my leather seat where I was met by some kind words from the CEO who was sitting next to me. Excited by my great feat, I watched as my classmates stumbled through their presentations, and wondered if all my hard work practicing in front of mirrors payed off.
So now here I am weeks later, walking to the hospital in late autumn morning, my white lab coat lagging behind as I make my way to the "morgue door." As I make my way through the labyrinth like walls of the hospital towards the emergency room, I reflect on my classmate's traumatic experience of a woman's death in the emergency room the previous day. I walked into the emergency room curiously and expecting something exciting to happen. I met my mentor as she caught a sample of a Saudi woman's mucus. After a moment of self reflection, I realized this is where I belong.