Undergraduate / "Do you like America or China?" - My life in a foreign country - UC prompt [4]

I think your story is an interesting one, overall your message is quite clear and strong. I corrected some grammatical mistakes and sentence structure to make it flow more naturally. Remember the prompt asks you about your aspirations, and you could write more about that in the conclusion. I feel like the last sentence is not very necessary. The essay overall is quite long for a UC app, I suggest cutting back on the second paragraph or making it more relevant to the rest of your essay about cultural awareness and personal growth.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

Undergraduate / 'the seventeen-kilometer bicycle ride' - Penn Optional [6]

I think this is a great short essay! Mainly because you approached it in an interesting and creative way. If only they allowed it to be more than 150 words...I'd love to read more. I think it already conveys a lot in the short amount of words, since I assume it is only a supplement essay to what you have already wrote in rest of the application.

I agree with ItsokaytoGaga that it seems like you are listing your activities. It is more like a creative writing piece than an application essay, but that's what caught my attention. Maybe you could explain a little more about how this kind of traveling shaped your experience and "introduce yourself" as the prompt suggests. That is only if the word limit allows, though. :)