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Posts by mikisuzuko
Joined: Dec 6, 2011
Last Post: Dec 7, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States

Displayed posts: 3
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mikisuzuko   
Dec 6, 2011
Undergraduate / Essay about my first job at the age of eight and a half [6]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone had time to help me edit my essay. THANK YOU

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

While my third grade classmates were deciding whether leaves should be colored orange or green, I was busy deciding which supplier would bring the most profit for my father's construction business. I worked hours every day as a volunteer secretary and interpreter for Vandy's Contractors. My parents struggled with English, so I was responsible for anything involving English. When my parents immigrated over to the United States they were in dire need of a translator, so I took it upon myself to learn Vietnamese and English fluently enough to be able to translate. It may sound like a lot of work for someone so young, but I enjoyed the opportunity to help my parents, and reveled in their praise for my hard work. With the experience I gained, I was then able to act as a translator for the Vietnamese immigrants around the area. Not only was I able to help my own family, but others too! While some may say that an eight year old is too young for such work, I found it rather rewarding.
mikisuzuko   
Dec 7, 2011
Undergraduate / Essay about my first job at the age of eight and a half [6]

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read and edit my essay! I sadly don't have enough characters to add on any more information, but I did switch my last two sentences around. Thank you for the advice too!
mikisuzuko   
Dec 7, 2011
Undergraduate / I have a Mohawk---commonapp essay for upenn, princeton, amherst, rochester [14]

I really love your essay. The metaphor is really clever! I may just be dense, but it did not come across to me that you were talking about Atheism. As for your essay length, I suggest just cutting off some of the added bits of information.

For example:
My life under my parents' roof went on in this manner for over a year before I found that I couldn't put up with their condescending manner any longer. Things had actually gotten worse with time in some respects; my brother's taunts had become became more frequent. than ever before (he wouldn't even spare me in the shower)
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