Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by CaitlinLea
Joined: Dec 19, 2011
Last Post: Dec 20, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
CaitlinLea   
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / 'never been a funny person' Stanford Supplement-Intellectual Vitality-friend/social [4]

when you spend two years writing analysis papers for english you forget how to write about yourself, help mee please, its extremely rough but some input would be helpful(: im not sure if i should add anymore or not...ahhh yea

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

"I don't think cabbage has heads." Joke. I've never been a funny person, or even a slightly outspoken person. I've done gymnastics for ten years and currently work at the club I compete for. I am a reasonably high achieving student, not exceptional like I wish. Only fortieth out of about three hundred students; it's a small high school. I've never been one to really explore things on my own. The day I was invited to travel to Germany though, things started to change. Three weeks without my parents with students from other schools, I was going to have a hard time getting myself to be social. I mean I was friends with the people in German Club, but it was still going to be challenging (silent scream of anxiety). Who really knows what to expect? I expected that the Montrose group would be cautionary and, in many ways, judgmental. I know Montrose. We are not the friendliest group, especially the German Club. When we finally arrived in Munich we waited, guessing which group was joining us. Finally our bus showed up and we climbed on, still waiting. Shortly a group of students headed out towards the bus. The group inside exploded with comments, not nice, mostly rude including suggested stereotypes. I was worried. What if they do the same? What are they going to say about me and who am I going to eat dinner with?! (Yes, I was worried that no one would want to sit with me.) But after spending the first day exploring Munich I decided that I had had enough with the Montrose group's comments. I split. What a wonderful thing and I do not regret it. How could I? I made some of the best friends, and I still keep in touch with them. Three weeks later I cried when I had to say goodbye to everyone in the airport. What had the world come to? Caitlin, being social?? Yes, obviously, but as much as I hated leaving my friends, I hated the remarks the Montrose group made about my friends on the flight home.

character count: 1,915/2,000
CaitlinLea   
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / 'A-level over Nepal government's +2 level' - Vassar [4]

punctuation: "Along with pursuing the disciplines I was much interested in(, instead of ;) I could..."
"Since(remove ,) students are deemed"

Also you say "I thought of the extent to which I could contribute to life at campus" but never really discuss any of it; i dont know if there is a separate essay or anything on that topic, but maybe discussing that would be helpful even if its just a sentence? maybe not, it could be too overwhelming since it doesnt directly address the topic but its a suggestion haha
CaitlinLea   
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'never been a funny person' Stanford Supplement-Intellectual Vitality-friend/social [4]

Thanks is this any better???

I've never been a funny person, or even an outspoken person. I did gymnastics for ten years and now work at the club I competed for. I'm a reasonably high achieving student but not as exceptional as I'd like to be; only fortieth out of about three hundred students. I've never been one to explore things on my own. Then I was invited to travel to Germany. It was three weeks without my parents, with students from other schools. I was going to have a hard time getting myself to be social. I mean, I was friends with the people in German Club, but it was still going to be challenging. Who really knows what to expect? I expected that the Montrose group would be cautious and judgmental. I know Montrose. We aren't the friendliest group, especially the German Club. When we finally arrived in Munich we waited, guessing which of the groups exiting terminals were joining us. Our bus showed up and we climbed on, still waiting. Shortly after, a group of students headed out toward the bus. The group inside exploded with rude comments. I was worried. What if they do the same to us? What are they going to say about me and who am I going to eat dinner with?! (Yes, I was worried that no one would want to sit with me.) But after spending the first day exploring Munich I decided that I'd had enough with the Montrose group's comments. I left the Montrose group and joined the North Dakota group. It was wonderful and I don't regret it. How could I? I made some of the best friends and I still keep in touch with them. Three weeks later I cried when I had to say goodbye to everyone in the airport. What had the world come to-- Caitlin being social? As much as I hated leaving my friends behind, it was the remarks that the Montrose group made that upset me most; their insensitive conversations made me unhappy. They were talking about my friends, people they didn't know. That's when I realized that friendship isn't a social thing; it's about being honest and trustworthy to people you care about.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳