rosers17
Dec 21, 2011
Undergraduate / 'The quality and atmosphere' - ESSAY FOR RICE. What motivated you. [3]
Move the Hogwarts part to the beginning; it'll make the essay more interesting. Right now, it's kind of dry and loads of applicants have probably written essentially the same thing.
"I would be studying to live a life rather than to just make a living." I understand what you mean by this, but it's kind of awkward.
I don't think belongingness is a word..
Leaving my comfort zone in Miriam College High School where everyone and everything was (should be is) familiar to me may not be easy, but with the residential college system, I feel like I would (should be will) soon find a company and even a family.
Move the Hogwarts part to the beginning; it'll make the essay more interesting. Right now, it's kind of dry and loads of applicants have probably written essentially the same thing.
"I would be studying to live a life rather than to just make a living." I understand what you mean by this, but it's kind of awkward.
I don't think belongingness is a word..
Leaving my comfort zone in Miriam College High School where everyone and everything was (should be is) familiar to me may not be easy, but with the residential college system, I feel like I would (should be will) soon find a company and even a family.