tubsofanger
Jan 2, 2012
Undergraduate / 'How Obesity Shaped Me' - Common App Essay #1 [2]
How Obesity Shaped Me
On Christmas when I was twelve, my brother and I woke up early to open presents. He dashed downstairs eager to get his gifts first while I, too embarrassed to run, lumbered behind with the comfort that Christmas worked like the Special Olympics; no matter what place I came in I'd receive a prize. While children around the world tore open boxes filled with new toys and videogames, my gift, parked in front of our television, was a stationary exercise bike, a machine that would help me conquer my obesity.
Obesity meant isolation. The fat around my body created a physical and mental barrier between my peers and me. I was self-conscious about my every move, and decided it was better to not move than to be scrutinized. My weight became a self-perpetuating defeatist cycle: because I was fat I wouldn't go outside and play, so I stayed inside and got fatter. I excluded myself from all social interaction, choosing to not talk at all rather than to be talked about. I was teased for being overweight, and turned to comedy to combat bullying. I was the Muhammad Ali of jokes: I'd absorb all the verbal blows thrown at me and strike back with a 1-2 punch-line, flying like an obese butterfly and stinging like a text message break-up. I was ruthless in my humor, hurting other's feelings with my off-color jokes just as they hurt me with insults.
Tired of being angry and alone, I confronted my obesity. Determined to lose weight, I walked home everyday after school and rode my exercise bike. Whether my day was filled with rain, sleet, or shine, I'd get up on that bike and ride. Losing weight taught me how to work towards a goal: to be self disciplined, take small steps, delay gratification, and consistently persist. I saw the smallest results as a victory and a lack of results as a signal to work harder. My muscles developed symbiotically with my mentality. As the mounds of fat melted off my body, layers of wisdom and self esteem filled the void. Instead of responding aggressively to insults, I diffused them with humor; the next time a thin person told me to "lose some weight," I airily retorted, "Why? You need some?" I learned that people had limits to what they found humorous, and adjusted my comedy, and personality, accordingly, trying to be sensitive to others so they wouldn't be upset the way I had been. I decided that rather than hurt people with my humor, I'd try to make them, and myself, laugh.
Obesity was my greatest gift. At first it made me miserable, lonely and isolated from my peers, but living and coping with it gave me a wicked sense of humor and ability to accomplish goals that were well worth the pain. Without the present of an exercise bike, which began my transformation, I never would have made honor roll in high school, completed my Eagle Scout project, written, booked, and performed my own stand up routine, or even gotten this far in the college application process. Now whenever I run into a problem I don't ask how it can harm me, but how it can help.
any suggestions you can give would be much appreciated. I don't really love the conclusion, and thought I write it more about stand up but wasn't sure how. Thanks!
How Obesity Shaped Me
On Christmas when I was twelve, my brother and I woke up early to open presents. He dashed downstairs eager to get his gifts first while I, too embarrassed to run, lumbered behind with the comfort that Christmas worked like the Special Olympics; no matter what place I came in I'd receive a prize. While children around the world tore open boxes filled with new toys and videogames, my gift, parked in front of our television, was a stationary exercise bike, a machine that would help me conquer my obesity.
Obesity meant isolation. The fat around my body created a physical and mental barrier between my peers and me. I was self-conscious about my every move, and decided it was better to not move than to be scrutinized. My weight became a self-perpetuating defeatist cycle: because I was fat I wouldn't go outside and play, so I stayed inside and got fatter. I excluded myself from all social interaction, choosing to not talk at all rather than to be talked about. I was teased for being overweight, and turned to comedy to combat bullying. I was the Muhammad Ali of jokes: I'd absorb all the verbal blows thrown at me and strike back with a 1-2 punch-line, flying like an obese butterfly and stinging like a text message break-up. I was ruthless in my humor, hurting other's feelings with my off-color jokes just as they hurt me with insults.
Tired of being angry and alone, I confronted my obesity. Determined to lose weight, I walked home everyday after school and rode my exercise bike. Whether my day was filled with rain, sleet, or shine, I'd get up on that bike and ride. Losing weight taught me how to work towards a goal: to be self disciplined, take small steps, delay gratification, and consistently persist. I saw the smallest results as a victory and a lack of results as a signal to work harder. My muscles developed symbiotically with my mentality. As the mounds of fat melted off my body, layers of wisdom and self esteem filled the void. Instead of responding aggressively to insults, I diffused them with humor; the next time a thin person told me to "lose some weight," I airily retorted, "Why? You need some?" I learned that people had limits to what they found humorous, and adjusted my comedy, and personality, accordingly, trying to be sensitive to others so they wouldn't be upset the way I had been. I decided that rather than hurt people with my humor, I'd try to make them, and myself, laugh.
Obesity was my greatest gift. At first it made me miserable, lonely and isolated from my peers, but living and coping with it gave me a wicked sense of humor and ability to accomplish goals that were well worth the pain. Without the present of an exercise bike, which began my transformation, I never would have made honor roll in high school, completed my Eagle Scout project, written, booked, and performed my own stand up routine, or even gotten this far in the college application process. Now whenever I run into a problem I don't ask how it can harm me, but how it can help.
any suggestions you can give would be much appreciated. I don't really love the conclusion, and thought I write it more about stand up but wasn't sure how. Thanks!