Writing Feedback / MY IELTS writing exercise: Interaction that changed by technology [4]

Hi everyone!

This is my first time pasting my writing exercise here. I am now preparing for my IELTS test and I wish I can get 6.5 this time. So I decide to have more writing exercises. I like writing in English in spite of the difficulties. So please help to achieve my target, thank you!

TOPIC:
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what way has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive of negative development?

MY ESSAY:
There is no doubt that the evolution of the interpersonal relationship has become the attention of the public. For example, an increasing number of people tend to discuss whether the technology makes people more intimate or more indifferent. My opinion is that we should take advantages of the convenience carried by the development of technology but restrain the negative effects on the relationship among the people.

It is wildly believed that technology changes our methods of communication in every aspects. For example, the E-mail eliminate the letters written by hand, MicroBlog plays the roll of sharing informations and interests instead of community activities, and yongsters are accustomed to play online games rather than to attend sports games abroad.

It may cause an estranging society, because more and more people are getting used to make friends on virtual community with those people far from them but neglect to help solving their neighbour's problems. Family members can communicate with each other by video chatting instead of having dinner together. Further more, children who raise in such a circumstance that their needs of entertaining and social contact can be easily satisfied by online games will be lack of communication skills, and their willings to go outside their room to contact with real person will be declined either.

But every coin has it's two sides. Technology is changing the relationships between you and me. It makes the communication more convenient and efficient. We can receive a letter from a friend and just few seconds after he has written it and the whole process is click a button. Video chat can help those people who can hardly meet each other to keep connection without extra cost.

To sum up, technology is always a double-edged sword. We must exploit to the favorable conditions of communication evolutions which carried by the development of technology and avoid unfavorable ones.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Petrol price, traffic problems and pollution; Any other effective measures? [2]

Thank you for helping me improve my writing skill.

Topic:
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree of disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?

My essay:
There is a growing worldwide awareness of the need for solving the traffic problems and getting hash conditions better. The price of petrol has been brought into the public concern. Someone believes that the high price of petrol is the key to terminate these two troubles. But i think human should explore more effective ways to control these negative effects.

Money is always treated as a key point to solve social problems. It is no doubt that raising the price of patrol can slow down the growth speed of the cars as well as the pollution generated by firing patrols. More and more single drivers will choose public transport rather than using their own car and traffic problems can be well improved by more effective utilization of transports. On the other hand, industries will control the scale of their productions to avoid firing petrol that is unnecessary.

But every coin has its two sides. We can't solve problems by sacrifice the profit of some parts of the people, especially the poor ones. High price of the petrol will raise the cost of daily life which hurt those poor person. Otherwise, petrol is not the only fuel that is widely used in industry and factories can choose other fuel instead of petrol to reduce their cost. It means that rise price of petrol can't solve the pollution problems perfectly.

Taking into account all these factors, we should not pay more attention to the price of petrol, but search more effective and eco-friendly way to use it. And we also need to adopt complex measures such as improving traffic control system, saving natural resources, creating new kind of energy and so on to help us facing the traffic and environment deterioration.