Writing Feedback / Fable story : the princess snail [3]

Please help me fix this "fable story" and add more details for me. Thank you ^.^

The Princess Snail

In a vast kingdom, a beautiful castle glitters with a lots of lights, and a beautiful princess lives there with her parents. Because she is very pretty, she has become lazy, and does not want to do anything except for dancing, singing, hanging out with friends and look at clothes all day.

The King and Queen were very concerned about the princess. The King will teach her how to write and study hard. The Queen will teach her how to do housework and cook good food. The next morning, the King called his daughter to his book room and teach her, but she does not listen and does not want to study. In the afternoon, the Queen tried to teach her how to clean her own room and cook, but the princess did not want to learn. The King and Queen just shook their head, and sighed. Over the next few day, the King and Queen were worried sick about the princess. They hoped the princess will cook food for them and take care of them, but the princess still want to hang out with friends and lazy to do those things or to take care of her parents. The King was mad at her, and wished the princess will become an ugly snail throughout the day. The reprimand of the King has become a reality. The princess became an ugly snail that goes out of the castle and to the road.

From that day, the princess snail just creeping slow all day on the road, and she was hated by everyone. She goes to her friend house; they scanned her outside, and laugh at her. The princess snail had nowhere to go, and she tried to find a place to sleep over night. Almost night, the princess snail found a place under the big tree, and sleep in there. In that night, there was thunder, and under the tree have a lot of different animals they are made her scare, and the princess want to go home with her parents, but she can not. She doesn't sleep in tat night, but she was thinking about her parents, and her castle. She was upset about what she did and has done before her leave the castle; leave her parents. Now, she wants to return home and says sorry with her parents, and repay for what she did with her parents before.

During the times that the princess snail leave, the Queen was cry really hard and told the King to take her daughter back to the castle. The King were really sad, too, but he doesn't know what to do. Suddenly, the King saw a snail go to his bedroom and said," Father, I'm your daughter. I'm really sorry you, and mother for what I did wrong with you and mother. Now, I'm came back to repay, for what I have done. Father, please forgive me and don't hates me,"

- The King cried said," I'm and your mother will forgive you, and we hoped you could stay here for the rest of your life. I'm also sorry about what I have done to you too. "-" Oh, father doesn't said that you have teaches me a hard lesson that I won't forget. I would says thank you to you and mother. I love you both!" Said the princess.

From that day, the princess snail and her parents lives together with a lots of happiness and loves. The princess snail also changed her life to became more beautiful and more valuable.

The story wants to tells us must know the pious and obedient to parents. Do not become lazy, but we should become diligent to help parents for housework. Also advised us not to get giddy that makes parents sad. That's the moral of the story, and the story also wanted to tells us after every happened; we will and we should learns a lesson from that happens, and see it as a lesson is provided.

Writing Feedback / I read the note from my mom;Home alone - essay [4]

This is about when I were home alone, but I cannot writen it well, so Please help with my grammar!! Thanks ^^

Home Alone

One day in the morning, I woke up and looked around my house to find my parents, and ask them what are for breakfast. I couldn't find them; I thought they were still sleeping in their bedroom, then I go into the kitchen to find something to eat. Then I saw on the table there was a note and food for my breakfast; I read the note from my mom, and it said I have to stay home alone for two days with 300 dollars in cash, because they have to go to my aunt house to help her with the wedding party. I was so surprised because it is my first time to stay at home alone by myself.

Eating my breakfast, and thinking I'll be fine, that's okay it just only two days, and I can handle all the work I have to do as my mom does. After finished with my breakfast I have to wash the dishes then go to the market to buy food. I went to the market and I was don't know what to buy or eat for dinner; so I just go around the market and I bought some noodles to make Vietnamese's noodles. I get into my house and to the kitchen to cook dinner. The true is I don't really know how to make it, I want to ask my mom but I don't have a SIM card in my phone because it was broke. I was trying to go on the Google to search the noodles that I want to cook. In 3o minutes I was looking for it, and lucky I am saw a video that can teach me how to cook it step by step.

This also my first time to cook dinner by myself, so I want it to be look attractive and taste good, because of that I have to watching the video more carefully and remember all the steps. After watching the video, I trying to cook the noodles and preparing everything I needed to make the noodles. When I making the noodles, I always remembered about what my mom said when I watching she making meals, she said "When we cooking or making food, we have to think all about love and beautiful things, so our food can be more delicious." So I always thinking about beautiful things that in my mind and with all my heart into the noodles that I am tried hard to make. Finally, my noodles can dessert in 30 minutes after I cooked it; I sat down on the chair and eating my noodles; it was tastes good and very delicious. That's made me so proud of myself, and about what my mom have taught me. Suddenly; my bell-door rang, I was open the door and saw my little cousin coming to my house to play with me. He was younger than me, but I'm so happy because I have someone to stay and play with. I was sharing my noodles with him and playing some games with him. We both played a game call Quick hands, Quick eyes. It is was really fun, and it makes me not being scare anymore about to stay home alone.

For a while; I heard something was go into my front yard, it sounds so scared. Me; and my cousin were quietly and go to the living-room, I saw someone was looking over my house like they have been drunk. My cousin and I were really scared and cries, but we both still look at that person to see what does he wants to do. Suddenly, he was hit into my door and yelling like a crazy man tried to hit someone. I started to cry, but my cousin is not. He put his hand on my shoulder and said "Don't be scare sister, I'll be right here with you."

"Really, thanks." I said with a nervous face. "Why are you don't cry?"
"Hmm, I do not scary about that at all." He said.
Finally the man was going away. I felt like my cousin is my hero in that night, and he was strong seen he just my little cousin but he helped me to not be scare and cry. Next morning, my parents were home soon because they were worry about me and the house. I tell them everything happened last night, they were really suprise about my cousin and happy that we both are safe.

It is a first time I was stay at home alone without my parents, and my feeling was really scared and I was really missed my parents when they are gone. However, I having learn something new in my life that I know how to cook Vietnamese's noodles, and be strong whenever I scared.