raquelbee
Jan 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'I have lost him completely' - a difficult choice and face the consequences [2]
Topic: A time when you had to make a difficult choice and face the consequences.
Tears cloud my eyes as I lay silently on my balcony floor. "Could this be it?" I fearfully ask myself. I feel a sudden rush of anxiety and cold breeze run down my spine. My mind wanders to a time years ago, a happier time, when I had been laying there beside him in silence. My heart had stopped that day as I looked into his eyes, unable to look away. It was that particular day that my soul decided to surrender itself to the magic of first love. I wanted to scream to the world that I was in love and nothing could take away that beautiful feeling. As I fiddled, he slowly took a hold of my hand and my heart, staring into my eyes, he said, "I love you, Raquel." In that very moment we had felt the power of the realization of love. But that power is gone now. I lay now in anguish, afraid that my voice will deceive me and begin to quiver. I ache for the comfort of his arms and reassurance of his warm hazel gaze. But it is not possible, for I have lost his trust and our love has been scarred. His gaze will no longer be warm and his arms will never provide comfort. He slams the door of my house and my soul as the pain in my chest grows stronger, and I have to stop myself from calling after him. I know I have done the right thing, even though I have lost him completely.
THIS IS MY IINTRO THAT NEEDS TO BE EDITED.
Topic: A time when you had to make a difficult choice and face the consequences.
Tears cloud my eyes as I lay silently on my balcony floor. "Could this be it?" I fearfully ask myself. I feel a sudden rush of anxiety and cold breeze run down my spine. My mind wanders to a time years ago, a happier time, when I had been laying there beside him in silence. My heart had stopped that day as I looked into his eyes, unable to look away. It was that particular day that my soul decided to surrender itself to the magic of first love. I wanted to scream to the world that I was in love and nothing could take away that beautiful feeling. As I fiddled, he slowly took a hold of my hand and my heart, staring into my eyes, he said, "I love you, Raquel." In that very moment we had felt the power of the realization of love. But that power is gone now. I lay now in anguish, afraid that my voice will deceive me and begin to quiver. I ache for the comfort of his arms and reassurance of his warm hazel gaze. But it is not possible, for I have lost his trust and our love has been scarred. His gaze will no longer be warm and his arms will never provide comfort. He slams the door of my house and my soul as the pain in my chest grows stronger, and I have to stop myself from calling after him. I know I have done the right thing, even though I have lost him completely.
THIS IS MY IINTRO THAT NEEDS TO BE EDITED.