ameretouch
Dec 1, 2008
Writing Feedback / Passion for a subject or cause? UD Essay Help [2]
Does my essay answers the question and does is flow right, grammer, etc.
Have you discovered your passion for a particular subject or a cause? Tell us about it.
When most children are asked what they want to be when they grow up, the usual responses are: police officers, firefighter, a princess, doctor, etc. By the age of six my response was I wanted to become a pediatrician. I got my inspiration from how my pediatrician showed a friendly disposition and how she always made me feel better. Over the past sixteen years of doctor visit, I was able to ask questions like why she wanted to become a doctor and what did it take to pursue that profession. She encouraged me to pursue my dream and provided me with information on how to reach my goals.
When I was seven years old, I was blessed with a new baby brother named Samuel. Sam wasn't normal like the rest of my siblings and I. Sam was diagnosed with Brittle Bone Disease, otherwise medically known as Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI). OI is a genetic disorder usually resulting from abnormalities of the genes that control the production of a protein called collagen; which is the main protein in bone and essential for its strength.
I was too young and really did not understand why Sam was always sick and going to the hospital. The doctor informed my dad that Sam would not live more than 24 hrs because of the severity of his OI; I remember the look of hurt in my dad's eyes. I always wondered how a doctor could say something so heartless and with no show of emotion. That was nine years ago! Sam is still alive and working on improving his walking and is also talking like any normal nine year old. After experiencing the dedication that the doctors and therapists took to insure Sam's life, my dream of pursing a profession in the medical field was enhanced even more so. However, at the age of 13, I had no clue where to start or how to get there so I just enjoyed being a teenager.
Through my first hand experience and knowledge with Sam's disability of OI, I decided I wanted to pursue a career in Physical Therapy. It was not until tenth grade; when I transferred to Lake Forest High School (Lake); that I discovered how to start pursuing my dream. One of the requirements to graduate from Lake is to pass three pathway classes from several optional career paths. The option my counselor recommended for me was Sports Medicine. The three pathway classes for Sports Medicine taught me medical terms; positions of the body, different ligaments, and much more. I wanted to further my knowledge outside of the classroom. I began reading medical articles and journals from the library and watched medical documentaries on "Discovery Health".
As my senior year comes to a close, I will be looking for summer internships with local physical therapy clinics to gain valuable volunteering experience. I believe my passion of becoming a physical therapist will be an obtainable goal.
As Sam continues with his therapy program to improve his mobility, range of motion, balance and coordination, I can only dream that one day it will be I, his big sister, who will be the therapist that actually gets to see him take his first steps without the assistance of anyone or anything.
Does my essay answers the question and does is flow right, grammer, etc.
Have you discovered your passion for a particular subject or a cause? Tell us about it.
When most children are asked what they want to be when they grow up, the usual responses are: police officers, firefighter, a princess, doctor, etc. By the age of six my response was I wanted to become a pediatrician. I got my inspiration from how my pediatrician showed a friendly disposition and how she always made me feel better. Over the past sixteen years of doctor visit, I was able to ask questions like why she wanted to become a doctor and what did it take to pursue that profession. She encouraged me to pursue my dream and provided me with information on how to reach my goals.
When I was seven years old, I was blessed with a new baby brother named Samuel. Sam wasn't normal like the rest of my siblings and I. Sam was diagnosed with Brittle Bone Disease, otherwise medically known as Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI). OI is a genetic disorder usually resulting from abnormalities of the genes that control the production of a protein called collagen; which is the main protein in bone and essential for its strength.
I was too young and really did not understand why Sam was always sick and going to the hospital. The doctor informed my dad that Sam would not live more than 24 hrs because of the severity of his OI; I remember the look of hurt in my dad's eyes. I always wondered how a doctor could say something so heartless and with no show of emotion. That was nine years ago! Sam is still alive and working on improving his walking and is also talking like any normal nine year old. After experiencing the dedication that the doctors and therapists took to insure Sam's life, my dream of pursing a profession in the medical field was enhanced even more so. However, at the age of 13, I had no clue where to start or how to get there so I just enjoyed being a teenager.
Through my first hand experience and knowledge with Sam's disability of OI, I decided I wanted to pursue a career in Physical Therapy. It was not until tenth grade; when I transferred to Lake Forest High School (Lake); that I discovered how to start pursuing my dream. One of the requirements to graduate from Lake is to pass three pathway classes from several optional career paths. The option my counselor recommended for me was Sports Medicine. The three pathway classes for Sports Medicine taught me medical terms; positions of the body, different ligaments, and much more. I wanted to further my knowledge outside of the classroom. I began reading medical articles and journals from the library and watched medical documentaries on "Discovery Health".
As my senior year comes to a close, I will be looking for summer internships with local physical therapy clinics to gain valuable volunteering experience. I believe my passion of becoming a physical therapist will be an obtainable goal.
As Sam continues with his therapy program to improve his mobility, range of motion, balance and coordination, I can only dream that one day it will be I, his big sister, who will be the therapist that actually gets to see him take his first steps without the assistance of anyone or anything.