Posts by chameau

chameau

Feb 28, 2012

Undergraduate / 'the chance to come and live in the United States' - Essay writing by a French [3]

Hi everyone, thank you to help me ! I'm french but I'm studying in usa (Union county college, NJ in ESL program) I know there are many other post about this kind of essay so sorry if a openned a new topic but I'm new and just register so I don't know very well that website.

So anyway, here's my introduction for an essay. The subject is about a person that we admire.
Please, can you tell me if my introduction is correct or not, can I have some advice to continue my essay ? thank you all.

(introduction) :

During our lives, there are people that influence our decisions based on their personal characteristics, values and accomplishments and, pretty much, make us the way we are.

I know with what I've lived the past two years that if I didn't have the chance to come and live in the United States with my cousin (who's actually my step father's cousin) my life would have taken another way. Moreover, if I specify in reality that it's my step father's cousin it's to explain how a person that we admire can have all the same an impact on you, and can exceedingly any other relationships either family or friends.

chameau

Mar 7, 2012

Undergraduate / 'the chance to come and live in the United States' - Essay writing by a French [3]

Hi ! Thank you so much for your answer ! I'm sorry, I just see that now.
I finished that essay and gave back to the teacher. I'm supposed to have my grade tomorrow.
Thank you to corrected my mistakes : here's my essay as I gave back yo the teacher, maybe it will help someone...

During our lives, there are people that influence our decisions based on their personal characteristics, values and accomplishments and, pretty much, make us the way we are. I know with what I've lived the past two years that if I didn't have the chance to come and live in the United States with my cousin (who's actually my step father's cousin) my life would have taken another way. Moreover, if I specify in reality that it's my step father's cousin it's to explain how a person that we admire can have all the same an impact on you, and can exceedingly any other relationships either family or friends. Here are the reasons of why I admire my cousin and how she's changing my way of seeing the things.

I admire her for a variety of reasons. First of all, I really like the way that she can see things and the way that she can resolve and find the solution of any problems. It doesn't mean that she's safe about that but it means to me that if I need she'll give me a good piece of advice to resolve any interrogation instead of misappropriation, and it's really reassuring. Even if she doesn't know something and has to guess. She's usually right in her decisions. In this way I've already learned a lot about morality and mostly about the way that I should see the things. The most astonishing is that she never gives me the example of seeing a problem at least if I ask for. It's just very subjective in the sense of most of the time I find by myself what I would like to know by her answers.

Also, I'm the same person than before but she involuntarily really changes my way of seeing certain things. I let myself probably less moping by some futile problems. I'm certainly stronger in my thought and definitively away of any bad way of thinking as I used to have. All this, I owe to her and her entourage so I'm very grateful to be able to start a kind of new watershed. Moreover, I tend to analyze quickly people around me and end up being tired to guess their reaction except when I really appreciate them and when they count in my life. With her, the problem doesn't arise so I really need to understand how she sees things because I think I have found the kind of really rare people that can have a really good and necessary impact on me. I really love that kind of personality even though I think it isn't much about personality but more about spirit and open-minded.

To sum up, I really admire my cousin that I consider such as a big part of my future for her brilliant mind and ability to foresee and see the life. With just a couple of months I have the impression that I have learned about life experience in what we can understand in at least 20 years of life! That's impressive how she can react and deal with anyone. I'm really sensitive about the way of people are. I really enjoy the fact that everyone react sometime totally differently for the same cause. I'm truly receptive about how to learn many things just to listening and analyze everyone and that's something that I share with my cousin. Indeed I think that she involuntary or not gives me the confidence in becoming a good and fair person which I really love.