Posts by Teemaaa

Teemaaa

Mar 4, 2012

Writing Feedback / 'Melchett appears to have...' - How can I phrase this better? [4]

I'm writing an essay on WW1, and I want to talk about how a certain quote makes us want to think more deeply into WW1 itself showing how men knew and had to apply the rule of 'every man for himself'

(The quote is taken from Blackadder Goes Forth) I have written this:

Melchett appears to have no care or worry for human life whatsoever, and openly shows us that he is going to take the backseat through saying ''Well, best of luck to you all. Sorry I can't be with you, but obviously there's no place at the front for an old general with a dicky heart and a wooden bladder.''. This allows us to delve deeper into the way men had no other choice but to carry the attitude of 'every man for himself'

I don't know how to phrase the last sentence better, and/ or how to develop the paragraph further. Help please? :(

Teemaaa

Mar 5, 2012

Writing Feedback / 'Melchett appears to have...' - How can I phrase this better? [4]

Thank you so much, you've helped greatly! :)
You just reminded me that I need to focus on picking out words as well as just explaining quotes as I've been doing :|

One quick question though, and you can use your opinion to answer this
Do you think a question and/ or essay arguing that something is just as good as something is better or worse than an essay arguing that one thing is better than another?

E.g.
''How far do you agree that R.C. Sherriff's play 'Journey's End' is more effective in creating characters and situations of which are realistic depictions of World War 1 and its effects compared to Ben Elton and Richard Curtis' 'Blackadder'?

Both 'Journey's End' and 'Blackadder Goes Forth' are effective in presenting characters and situations of which could portray World War 1 and its effects. 'Journey's End' and 'Blackadder Goes Forth' can be seen as just as effective as each other in doing so, as they both appeal to different audiences, in different ways. 'Journey's End' treats the war and the effects of the war on more of a serious note, whereas 'Blackadder Goes Forth' is more satirical and uses caricatures to portray what the war was actually like, those who went to war, and what the war did to the men who went to fight.''

How far do you agree that R.C. Sherriff's play 'Journey's End' is more effective in creating characters and situations of which are realistic depictions of World War 1 and its effects compared to Ben Elton and Richard Curtis' 'Blackadder'?

''Both 'Journey's End' and 'Blackadder' are effective in presenting characters and situations of which could portray WW1 and its effects. However, Journey's End is far more effective as it treats the war and the effects of the war on more of a serious note, whereas 'Blackadder' is more humorous, seeming somewhat inappropriate at times when portraying what WW1 was actually like, and what WW1 did to the men who went to fight.''

Which argument dyou think is better? This would help greatly,
Thank you xxx